Jun Dishes

verb/diSH/ : food or sex or gossip or fiction in real life

Big Brother 13 – Fans versus WTF

Pictures of the house have been unveiled,

Identities of eight houseguests now revealed…

The gimmick they call a twist declared,

“Dynamic Duos”, um, old houseguests to be paired…

Wait, so really, this summer is basically a “fans versus CBS’ favs” season?

Okay.  I can live with that.  And I can live with waiting until July 7th, when the show premieres, to see what really gives.  I really don’t have any interest or tolerance in hashing over theories and rumors over which dynamic duos will be returning to the Big Brother house.

All I know of is one Dynamic Duo returning, and that’s Chen + bot, so that’s enough for me for now, thanks.  But by all means, carry on with the rumors…some of them are quite entertaining!

We have no clue as to which past HGs will actually be getting another shot in the game so until then, let’s get to know aka dissect the poor eight newbies who will be facing that veterans shall we?

These eight (plus one) will have to get over the initial shock of seeing some of their BB heroes and zeroes walk into he house and I really fear for them.  I wish I could coach them all season…

All superficial, catty and shallow opinions aside (which are three of my favorite kind actually)…let’s talk about the strengths and weaknesses each of the new HGs are bringing with them on July 7th:

ADAM – 39, Hoboken, New Jersey (originally from East Brunswick, NJ)

Strengths: He’s followed the show since season one which will serve him well, as the Wikipedia of Big Brother history, when it comes to certain competitions involving facts and figures. He should use his knowledge to his advantage and be quiet about it.

Weaknesses: I don’t really know that there’s a big demand for “heavy metal teddy bears” that he claims to be supplying.  Because of his stature and facial hedge he’s already a bit “hard to approach”.  Dude, chill out, don’t be so eager or you’ll be ousted.

CASSI – 26, Nashville, Tennessee (originally from Allen, TX)

Strengths: She seems so cool and level-headed that she’s almost too good to be true.  Combined with her looks she may be able to last the whole summer.

Weaknesses: She may come off as cold/indifferent.  And unfortunately chicks in the house will find her incredibly threatening if it turns out she’s as cool as she seems in her video.  She may also fall into the showmance trap and alienate herself further from the other ovaries in the house.

DOMINIC – 25, San Francisco, California (originally from San Mateo, CA)

Strengths: He gets that being too strong too soon is a downfall (unlike Adam).  He is afraid of STDs so perhaps there is hope for him yet…meaning, thinking with the right head once he’s in that house.

Weaknesses: He says “Meow-Meow” aka Enzo is his “man”. He seems like he won’t be serious enough about gameplay. He’ll need to watch his mouth and listen more than flap his mouth (which he’s admitted he has a tendency to do).

KALIA – 30, Los Angeles, California (originally from Philadelphia, PA)

Strengths: Well-spoken (background as a writer) so she’ll be able to formulate any campaigning or lies off-the-cuff and without a hitch. Her fav HGs (Dr. Will, James, Janelle) were all gamers so that’s a good indication that she understands the game.

Weaknesses: She claims to hating “sharing things”, “living with people”, “dirty people” so she may have a hard time adjusting to life in the BB house.  She thinks everyone in the world loves her which is never a good thing.

KEITH – 32,  Bolingbrook, Illinois

Strengths: He works in human resources so hopefully he is armed with some diplomacy in addition to his sex cravings.

Weaknesses: He predicts he will have the BB ladies swooning over him and wanting to be “Keith’s Angels” which is great if this was pre-Betty Friedan era.  He claims to have two sides to him: Professional Keith and Playboy Keith…referring to yourself in the 3rd person will only make your fall three times harder.

LAWON – 39, Inglewood, California (originally from Urbana, IL)

Strengths: He may just be obnoxious and annoying enough for someone to want to take him to the end.  He’s shed 54 pounds and maintained it so we know he has some discipline beneath all that “buckwahhhhld” (“buckwild” to the rest of us) crazy.

Weaknesses: He seems more a caricature than anything else so the other HGs may be unable to achieve any sort of comfort level with him.   But I can’t wait to see him in the Diary Room…if I can understand him that is…he makes up his own words apparently.

PORSCHE – 23, Miami Beach, Florida (originally from Fort Lauderdale)

Strengths: She claims that taking care of her dad after his heart attack is her proudest accomplishment so there may be some iota of likability to her once she’s playing the game.

Weaknesses: She seems to think her fav past HG Natalie Martinez and the strategy she employed “worked”.  Um, it did not. She also thinks “selling herself” is what she needs to win the game.  Um, sweety, nobody’s buying your bubbles in that house.

SHELLY – 41, Prairieville, Louisiana (originally from Centerville, Ohio)

Strengths: Like Adam, she seems to be a true fan and follower of the show which will aid her.  She is certainly “tough” in her demeanor (almost masculine?) which will help her through the sometimes brutal/tough times in that house.

Weaknesses: Her background as a “leader” may hamper her ability to go with the flow which is necessary in this game.  She also wants to play a “classy” game which sounds great but will eventually consume her gameplay if she let it.

And last but not least…in lieu of an “America’s Player”…I have sent in a “Twitter’s Player”…

ROCKY – 6 months, Ghent, Belgium

Strengths: She has had the best coach, ME, and so she is armed with everything she needs to last the whole three months in the BB house.  She hears everything. And she will be tweeting from @Rockytown.

Weaknesses: She has major dietary restrictions so living on slop is not really an option. Nobody in the house will actually know she’s there since Rocky will be living in the walls of the BB house so she will never have the opportunity to become HOH.

Posted under: Big Brother, Reality TV Dishes

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24 comments

  • i love the house guests this season compare to last seasons bb 12 *snores* plus i love rocky shez sooo cute wish she was a house guest this season <3 ^^

  • I enjoy reading your thoughts on the newbies. I agree with just about everything you wrote. I do find that houseguests can be completely different in the house than they are in the pre-interviews. This is a good thing since I’m a little worried about some of these people. This twist could completely ruin the game of the hardcore BB fan houseguests. I really hope they don’t get “reality star struck”. It was bad enough w/just Jessie returning in BB11. To have 6 people you’ve watched show up…could really mess w/their heads.

    To Rocky… Watch your back, I hear those fish can be vicious and I think there are guinea pigs hiding in the walls waiting to stab you in the back(just ask Sharon how they can ruin a persons game)

  • I love your comments about each house guest and hope they are good to watch on TV. For some reason when I saw Porsche I got Alison vibes off of her.

  • GKL1961 on July 2, 2011 at 5:45 pm said:

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    Rockytown for the win!!!! For the Human Race, I have picked my favorite before the show airs then to find I do not like them at all. Right now, I like Shelly.

  • “EEEEEEE!!” That’s me squealing with delight that Rocky will be tweeting all the action from inside the BB House! We already know about her keen sense of wit in describing her life with you & Davy – she’s a riot, and this is gonna be great!

    I feel a little pissy about the whole concept of fans versus former houseguests. It just seems lazy. The only HG I’d have any interest at all in seeing on the show would be you – oh, and ED. 😉 Seriously, though, out of the thousands of applicants from across the country, no way CBS could find 14 interesting people we’ve never met?

    Oh, and if Brenchel is on the show, I likely won’t be watching. Fame whores receive none of my attention.

    I like your analysis of the new HG’s, though I’m sorry there aren’t more of them. I know I’ll be reading your blog at the very least even if it’s too unbearable to watch – your commentary is always keen and hysterical, even if the show sometimes fails to entertain.

  • MarluvsBB on July 2, 2011 at 6:00 pm said:

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    Great observations from a pro. Am looking forward to spending the summer with you, Rocky and the HG’s. I have a feeling this is going to be my best BB summer yet.

  • Jun, always great to hear your point of view! Congrats on your wedding and new chapter in your life. NYC’s loss. Keep dishing.

  • seeing Rickytown there made me smile. Thanks Jun! Cant wait to follow your thoughts buring BB this summer!

  • Thanks all!!! This is just the beginning…no holds barred all summer on these guys on the house!

    And Rocky’s in the house by now, DHL confirmed delivery! HAHA, this will be so much fun! :)

  • Will Leonard on July 3, 2011 at 2:14 pm said:

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    Jun: please do video uploads whenever you have time in addition to your regular written entries. We want all the analysis and snarkiness that we can get!

  • J.Rock on July 4, 2011 at 7:05 am said:

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    Love your blogs, Jun! I can only hope that you’ll keep up the good work because it sure is a fun read! I have no clue why it took me so long to discover it!

  • icabodpatel on July 6, 2011 at 6:24 am said:

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    Loved the blog post Jun!!! Makes me 😀 …. Soo of course I want more. Do you know of there is any way to get a email notification when you post your blogs . Because of course as soon as you post it, I want to read it

  • Always love your insight and perspectives, Jun. Coming from a winner’s standpoint, you have so much more credibility than some of these former houseguest losers who come off trying to sound like they know it all!

Feel Free to Dish!