Facebook recently told me what my “Greatest Moments in 2012” were. As if a website servicing over a billion users could possibly know all my greatest moments. But they tried. And then they eventually changed the name of this snazzy new feature, to “Year In Review”. More palatable? I don’t know.
Everyone’s doing a year in review and we pretty much can guess what some of the major “greatest” moments would be for most people. But what about our “worst” moments? Like…
THE MOMENT I regretted ever deciding to spend Thanksgiving in New York, visiting family and friends I had not seen in two years. I had a moment of homesickness and heartache in that cold November because the long-awaited return, along with my newborn and husband, seemed like a one-sided wait too often. Facebook superficiality and absence had made some hearts grow farther while masked in air-kisses. Tried but not true friendships popped like kernels of popcorn all around me. But the truest of friendships are what emerged in the end, and I learned the truths in lessons. Family, close and distant, came together but never quite fit together enough to form a smooth puzzle board of a reunion. But it was a moment of regret, and nothing more, because I came to realize that Belgium was indeed now home. And I am happy to be back here in Belgium ringing in the new year.
THE MOMENT I opened up an enormous can of mutant worms aka confronted a whole bunch of people at once with their transparent insincerities and toxic behaviors. But I needed to stand my ground and ensure my place in this new country I live in. This year for me was about bringing Noah into the world and making me and Davy a family. As the “crazy girl who left New York” to live in Ghent, I need to be clear about why I left so much behind in New York. And lest anyone become unclear, on any given day, my priorities are always my husband and my baby. I make no apologies for stating the truth in the plainest of English and sometimes Dutch.
THE MOMENT I really thought while screeching, repeatedly, at the top of my lungs “I’m gonna faint!” that I really was going to faint and then have to be wheeled to some operating room and have my body cut open to remove my baby. Yes, I really thought all that through while on my back with my legs up bleeding out of my body in the delivery room. Dramatic, much? Noah had been six weeks early. My labor lasted six hours and my deliver, a mere twenty minutes. And I live-tweeted it all. By all accounts everything went as smooth-as-a-textbook-cover, and most of the horridly gross things I was warned about happened. Oh my freaking WTF.
MY SINGLE GREATEST MOMENT OF 2012 was giving birth to Noah and pressing that magic button that made Davy and me, a family of three.