I’m sitting here with a busted lip after having somewhat of a Twitter war with some guy I don’t know. Totally unrelated really, because my sore lip comes from my nine-month old Noah’s headbutt, but the Twitter war did happen right before the whole busted lip thing.
So what is a Twitter war and why do I get in them as often as I do? Well, I’ll walk you through this particular one.
It all started because I saw, on my timeline, someone I follow had retweeted this @theNuzzy guy. It sparked a thought. I would never tweet my followers begging them to follow my hilarious and hot husband whether it’s his birthday or any day. And so I tweeted that thought. And then just for obnoxiously good measure I too retweeted this @theNuzzy fellow.
But I had no such anger, just a huge smirk on my face, and alas @theNuzzy was tamed for but just a moment with his pretend-passive “nothing gets me to relax more than being told to relax” comeback.
How cool and calm and collected @theNuzzy had metamorphosed. But, why exactly, is this last tweet broken off from the conversation in the previous screenshot?
Because @theNuzzy is a DELETER! He deletes his tweets after he tweets them. He claims it’s to keep his timeline “clean” aka full only of his could-be-funnier-one-liners, but I dare to guess that it’s also because he wants no trace of his come-back-shortcomings. Or shortcomebackings? That should be a new word.
I don’t like deleters. There, I said it.
It screams “I delete,” whatever that means, and I don’t like it.
I don’t like you @theNuzzy. But really, I don’t know you at all so my dislike goes only as far as this superficial blog and all the tweets you deleted that I so freakishly took a screenshot of. Because @theNuzzy, as “nuts” (as you called me in subsequent crying tweets) as you say I am, I am even nuttier for taking that screenshot of our preempted conversation. But more importantly, why else did I take the screenshot? Because I knew you’d be a deleter! Just as you scrolled through my tweets in an effort to get under my skin, I too checked your tweets. After all, it’s what all nuts do, including you. And I just knew you’d delete your tweets to me. And you did. So there. I’m psychic and you’re a deleter. Oh, and I hope your girlfriend gets to a thousand followers. And congratulations for having a girlfriend!
So you see, this is just one example what a Twitter war can be, how it started and how it ended and now you have its anatomy.