Someone Spilled Coffee On My Mac

So,eone spilled coffee on ?y ?qc:

That, up there, is me typing on an AZERTY keyboard. Because, yes, someone spilled coffee on my Mac. And it’s not working currently.

Oh, it was bound to happen. I had gone too long shaking my head at other Mac users who’d spilled shit intended for drinking, right over and onto their exposed and vulnerable keyboards. But in my case, it wasn’t even me who did it.

DryingTeepeeMacAnd so with my Mac currently “drying” open upside-down like a teepee, I am using my husband’s Mac. And as this is Belgium, his has got an AZERTY keyboard.

AZERTY

I didn’t even know what an AZERTY keyboard was until I’d traveled to Paris my senior year of high school, with my French teacher and the rest of the French Club. Me and my Aol email address were ready to send some emails from France, and that’s how my first AZERTY experience happened. Until that point I had never given thought to what computer keyboards in other countries would look like.

There’s a German QWERTZ keyboard too, but I’ve never come across one yet.

But here I am struggling and going back and deleting at least three times per line, so far, corrections to typos my QWERTY-ruled fingers are making. Where the Q and W were, now sit the A and Z, and vice versa. And your M no longer sits next to your N, but next to your L instead. And punctuation and accents? They’re all over the place and not where you want them to be, even the almighty question mark and period are in different places on the different keyboards.

And I’m dealing with this in the most dramatic way, all because someone went and spilled coffee on my keyboard. Who? Someone I don’t want feeling any worse than they already do, no use crying over spilt coffee right?

The coffee actually spilled over just half my keyboard, but enough to make my screen go black and power to zap out. I swear I heard it zap. My jaw dropped down to my tits and hot obnoxious tears welled up in my eyes.

  1. I yanked my Mac off the table and turned it keyboard facing down, and shook it with violent force hoping that the coffee would miraculously all spill out from under the keys.
  2. I launched myself into the kitchen to grab some towels, and with my Mac still keyboard-face-down I pressed into the keys with the towels hoping I would somehow sop up some more rogue coffee.
  3. I panicked and tried to turn it on, to no avail. This was a horrible move on my part. I know now, hours later, that I shouldn’t even try to turn it on for at least two days.
  4. Last, I raised my Mac above my head still keyboard-face-down, and I pressed my lips up into the keyboard and began sucking excess coffee out into my mouth.

Yes, I blew my Mac. I didn’t stop to think about what I was actually doing becuase it was working. As I sucked with the force of a Korean vacuum, coffee began flying out of my Mac and into my mouth. And I didn’t stop to spit, oh no, I was on a roll and there was no time to spit after every suck. Surely I must have gotten most of the coffee out?

I don’t know. I’ve done the Google run and there’s lots of advice and some depressing stories. I don’t own a blow dryer, I just don’t use them, but I do have dry rice. These are both things my fellow online coffee spillers recommend I use in an effort to save my Mac. I wouldn’t even care if I’m required to steam or fry my rice, I’m willing to do to rice whatever it takes to save my Mac.

But until it’s saved or *egads* replaced, I’ll be using lots of foul language while I struggle to get better at typing on this AZERTY keyboard. As a writer, this is torturous. And realizing there are greater things out there to send a prayer up for, I ask that you keep my Mac in your thoughts if you have thoughts to spare. I’m gonna go get some rice now.

Always dishing,

Jun

25 Comments

  1. Christina DiLauro

    “Yes, I blew my Mac.” I almost spit out my coffee onto my keyboard reading this line! LOL! I don’t mean to laugh at your misery…my prayers are with you and your Mac at this difficult time.

    Reply
  2. Kelsey Watts

    As a mac owner who has gone through 3 macs now, I will definitely be keeping yours in my apple prayers. May Steve Jobs heal your mac from the beyond 🙂

    Reply
      1. Anonymous

        They are actually all still alive!!! Just had many many surgeries and have been neglected for newer bigger macs 🙂

  3. OkieChris

    🙁 I’ve never heard of different keyboards. Was it black coffee? I hope so my coffee would for sure gunk up a keyboard. Lots of sugar & creamer. I’ll pray for your happiness

    Reply
  4. Pat

    Oh Jun, I love the way you write. I can just see you sucking the coffee out! I too laughed when you said…I blew my Mac. You are so funny, and I look forward to all your blogs! Prayers for you and your Mac and I hope you get the rice out.

    Reply
  5. Anonymous

    I typed on an QWERTZ keyboard when I travelled abroad in Germany/Italy/Austria, and they are a similar pain. I didn’t even realize that the keys were in a different place until I kept misspelling common words and finally looked down at my hands. You don’t really realize the muscle memory of your fingers until the layout of the keyboard changes.

    Hope everything works out with your Mac! I probably would reacted similarly…although, with even more tears and angst.

    Reply
  6. Wo

    My 2 cents – ditch the rice after it’s absorbed the coffee (maybe chemical residue from the parts inside would be on the rice??)… not worth the risk imho.

    Reply

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