10 Signs You’re Too Old For the Clubs

Last night, my husband Davy and I went out to a club here in Ghent. On the surface, this is nothing earth shattering. And with my mother visiting, it meant we had the best babysitter money just can’t buy. But it was our first time inside a club, married with a baby at home with grandma, and it was a bloggable experience.

I knew it be. And so, with eyes wide open we made last-minute plans to hit what was “one of the best clubs” back when Davy partied hard and often.

And we left the club with:

10 Signs You’re Too Old For The Clubs:

1. When everyone waiting on line outside to get in the club looks like they should be waiting to see a pediatrician instead.

2. When your husband is recognized by the bouncer, an old friend “from back in the day” and part-owner of the club and you’re plucked from the line to walk in past the Bieber fever generation of clubbers.

3. When you get inside the club the only people your own age are ones working there, like the bouncers.

4. When the bouncer offers bottle service at half-price you politely decline, laughing and clenching the beer in your hand like it’s your best friend.

5. When looking around the club you’re wondering why these kids aren’t home in their beds, like your baby is back at home, while hard Euro techno is raping your eardrums.

6. When it seems you’re the only one actually dancing, because all the kids around you are “Bump”ing their iPhones walking around looking for their friends from biology lab.

7. When you start the evening asking when the club closes, because you plan on partying all night, but then eventually start checking your watch “to see how late it is” and it’s only thirty minutes later than the last time you checked.

8. When you’d rather hold in your pee until you get home, than enter one of the scary bathroom stalls in the club.

9. When midnight tolls and you feel like you’ve reached some milestone in parenthood, being out at a club past midnight on a Saturday night.

10. When the next day you’re up like the walking dead, with aches and pains and all you had was two beers during the two hours you danced the night before.

~

With all that said, I never said “older” people shouldn’t go out to the clubs. If you’re with the right company of course you will have a peachy good time and all that fluff. And I read this blog to my mother this morning over coffee and bagels. Yes, my mother brought two dozen NYC bagels in her carry-on luggage to Belgium. Is she not the best?!

In response all my mother said was, “Good.” That’s all I needed really. And then she and I laughed about how stupid red I look when I drink. And said how I shouldn’t take photos and post them when I’m stupid red and drunk. Horrible. I can’t drink.

DrunkMeBut Rosella is just beautiful. And I have to apologize for not staying out longer. But seriously, those 10 signs really happened to me. And Davy. Besides, clubs for dancing are less fun than clubs for coupling. What?

Always dishing,

Jun

 

11 Comments

  1. I pretty much have a 2 beer limit…it’s just not worth it the next day. We went to see a band play last weekend, had fun. But, I began the 30 min clock check at about midnight and we didn’t leave until 1:30. I was so relieved when Amy said “yes” to my umpteenth “So, you ready to go?”.

    Life. It evolves.

    Reply
  2. OkieChris

    Glad you had that chance to get out worry free.

    We went out to dinner with friends last night. Later than we usually eat I had 1 drink and could keep my eyes open on the drive home.

    Then after we got home I felt like the biggest blimp. Sick to my stomach and regretting eating and more so that delicious drink!

    Getting older sucks rocks hahaha

    Reply

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