I cried a little watching Sean propose to Catherine (despite her freaky sincere faces), partly because I’m that happy for them and partly because my eyes burn from exhaustion. My baby, who’s about to turn one, woke up this morning smiling with the chickenpox. I didn’t even know babies could get chickenpox until today. I guess I never really thought about it.
Is it horrible that I’ve put so much thought into this season of The Bachelor?
Although, I can say with confidence that I’m very happy with how everything turned out, and not just because Catherine’s of Asian descent. Because clearly ABC was pushing that race card last night with all the strategically placed Asian females and Asian female – White male couples in the studio audience all of a sudden for the three-hour finale (2 hours and roughly 7 minutes without commercials).
No, I’m really happy for the new couple. And I wish them love and happiness and a one year old with chickenpox at some point in their lives, really. Plus I was relieved to see Catherine reunite with Sean, in the third hour of ABC’s stretching of this entire franchise, wearing her ring that had been resized since the proposal in Thailand.
I’d imagined the “cushion cut with micro pavé” ring slipping off Catherine’s skinny little finger, while on the post-proposal elephant ride, and into the mud never to be found again like some Indiana Jones scene. Did I just age myself there? Oh, and did you notice that ring Sean picked for Catherine is actually the “cushion ring with diamonds all around on the band” one AshLee demanded from Sean?
And poor Lindsay. I knew she was 5’1″ toast when she came out in silver lamé when Catherine was decked out in gold lamé. Hello, silver medal.
And the worst part is Lindsay doesn’t even have a cute little nephew like Sean’s nephew, Kingston. No Kingston to throw in her face “Sean didn’t pick you!” for a good laugh to be had by all. But i’m sure Lindsay will be fine, just as soon as she matures just a little more and stops trying so hard. She doesn’t have to.
Besides, when Sean was born his parents prayed about Sean’s future wife everyday starting that day. Sean was destined to find his wife on The Bachelor, see? And my husband was destined to find me on vacation in the Dominican Republic, where 8 days into the rest of our lives I was held up at gun point and almost kidnapped. And in the aftermath when Davy had me safe in his arms, he knew he couldn’t live without me.
Not that I’m saying something bad should have happened to either Lindsay or Catherine for Sean to make his decision faster. Like, shit, he took up until the last night of filming to decide between the two?! I’m convinced the clincher was Catherine dropping the “L” bomb on Sean while he was palming her ass.
But whatever it was, I’m really hoping Catherine and Sean make it. And that Sean stops the train on the reality circuit once he embarrasses himself on the dance floor of Dancing with the Stars. OMG.