Jun Dishes

verb/diSH/ : food or sex or gossip or fiction in real life

One Year Ago Today

MyBelly

One year ago today I spent my day very pregnant. I went to sleep very pregnant. And then the next day Noah was born, six weeks early. Today, I will go to sleep, under one roof, with my most treasured loves of my life.

One year ago today I was able to only sympathize with parents of premature babies. Today, I now empathize. In that moment your doctor tells you that you’re more than a few centimeters dilated and you’ll be delivering your baby that day? It takes a solid team to endure having their just-born remain in neonatal/NICU, instead of coming home with you when you leave. Davy and I were fiercely in love with Noah, in his incubator. But through three weeks we cried a lot and had frustrations with everyone, and each other. But today, we know we’re waking up tomorrow to celebrate Noah’s first birthday.

One year ago today I could only imagine what kind of mother I would be. Today, I know that I’m a mother like so many sleep-deprived yet exhilarated mothers. And I understand that being a good mother also means being a good wife, and friend and everything I was before becoming a mother. I’ve learned that having a baby shouldn’t mean your life is social or sexual roadkill. A happy mother makes for a happy baby. Davy also says, “Happy Wife, Happy Life.”

One year ago today I could only imagine what kind of father Davy would be. Today, after a year of watching the father Davy has become and with the only other father I’ve ever lived under the same roof with being my own, I can say there is so much of my father in Davy. Hardworking and hearty in appetite and laughter and affection and so many intangible things. My mother sees it, and sees it every day since she’s been visiting. And it makes us gulp back tears wishing my father was here. Here in Belgium, here anywhere, just here. I know as sure as I know the scar on my own vagina from giving birth, that Davy and my father would have been made for in-law heaven. But I know my father watches from heaven, all the time, because he was like that in life. At peace and always steady like a river, my father, it’s why so many people still miss him.

One year ago today I thought I was tired. Today, I’m able to sleep with my eyes open whimpering slightly. Noah is a DREAM baby, but this is the longest trial of my life. I have newfound tons of respect for my mother, and all mothers. And fathers. Good fathers seem outnumbered by other kinds of fathers too often.

One year ago today I thought I knew it all. Today, I’m still a know-it-all. But I know I most definitely didn’t know it all, one year ago today. I’ve learned so much and grown equally tolerant and intolerant of so many things. I know way more than I did one year ago. Which means, I know it all now?

Yeah.

Right.

Always dishing,

Jun

Posted under: Reality Dishes

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21 comments

    • Jun Song on March 21, 2013 at 5:43 am said:

      Reply

      I love that you come back to visit, and leave me messages. Thank you for always communicating with me!

  • MarluvsBB on March 20, 2013 at 11:07 pm said:

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    I so love how you have been blessed. I am happy you let me share your joy with you. Most of all, I love how much you sincerely appreciate and love what you have, and don’t see to take it for granted. It shows every time you write about your life and family. So very very happy for you, Davy and baby Noah!

  • Anonymous on March 20, 2013 at 11:08 pm said:

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    I remember so well all your “birthing” tweets a year ago, Jun! This last year has flown and it seems like yesterday wee Noah was born. You’re a wonderful wife and mother. Thank you for letting us into your life. Hugs to Momz.

  • Awww Happy 1st Birthday to Noah for tomorrow!! Hope he’s got a cool little outfit ready, you’ve set a high standard this past year!! haha

    I can’t believe it’s been a year since your “Live Birth Tweeting”!! I think in honour of your labour you should start every birthday of Noah’s with ‘I won Big Brother in America’!! haha

    Hope all of you have an awesome day :)

    • Jun Song on March 21, 2013 at 5:46 am said:

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      Hahahaha. We just received a bib as a gift that says something to that effect :) Thanks so much for all your love and support this past year Dean!

  • So happy for you all! Congrats to Davy for having the good taste and instinct to know way back on vacation that you were the one. Congtats to you, Jun, for recognizing the same in Davy. Congrats to Momz for being able to be there for 2 very important events in Noah’s life. His 1st illness ( you would have handled it, but been a basket case without her there) and his 1st birthday. She undoubtably strengthened the presence of your father’s spirit watching over you. Congrats to Davy’s parents for bringing him up to be the man that he is and for being blessed with a new daughter. And finally, Congrats to Noah for turning one today! Happy Birthday to the baby boy who bring such warmth and joy to people from across the globe that he will probably never meet. You make this world a better, brighter place. Your friend from across the world, Richard

    • Jun Song on March 22, 2013 at 6:02 pm said:

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      Thank you Richard. It’s been such a life-changing experience and I can’t believe sometimes how different my life is hahahaha! Thank you for always sticking by us with love and laughs :)

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