Things I’d Never Do


A sister-in-soul asked me to write a blog about things I’d never do. But if you should never say “never” then it must be a bad word. There are some things that I thought I’d never do 10 years ago that I did and things I’m doing now that I thought I’d never do, but I’m doing. “Never” is a misleading bitch.

But I’ll take a go at “Things I’d Never Do”:

~ Wish chickenpox upon a baby. No matter how much a I hated some stupid bitch, I’d never wish chickenpox upon her baby. Maybe that the bitch’s hair starts falling out or her mustache gets thicker, but never chickenpox upon her baby.

Cheat on my husband. He wouldn’t cheat on me. And not because of any one thing, but the fact is we talk about everything we want in sex and relish in exploring new naked avenues together. We don’t ever get to everything, but you have to be going somewhere together. Don’t let shit get stale, and never stop talking.

Be a sellout. Being something other than yourself is the worst thing you can do.

Now, my “Things I Thought I’d Never Do But Did” beyond the obvious:

1. Take a go at running my own little sex-ring in New York City. Yeah, I talked about it once as a joke on Big Brother about what I’d do with my winnings when I won. And it happened. But Romes are not built in a day.

2. Forgive myself, then my mother, for the time she tried to kill herself. And how cold and reckless it made me for a length of time. See 1.

3. Write out what actually happened to me that day the NYPD’s Special Victims Unit came to my house because I had been sexually abused, and I was so young. I never thought I’d write about but I did. A blur in the past and something glaring in the present. Writing about sexual abuse is jarring, but writing in and of itself is jarring because once read it can’t be unread.

Thanks ST for the blog topic.

The photo above is of me, stretching on a rock on the coast of Italy in Cinque Terra. I never thought I’d do that either but I did, while newly unemployed.

Always dishing,



  1. I thought you would say something about never leaving your son… but then of course things change and the reasons we do things change and sometimes things you never thought you would do become impossible not to do… life is so complicated.


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