Things You Just Don’t Talk About


I’ve been struggling for topics to blog about this week, and I know it’s because I have so much on my mind. Specifically, a lot of different people on my mind in addition to those already on my mind by default. Neurotic much?

I’ve covered TMI this week, but there’s a whole other set of “things you just don’t talk about” as a general social rule of thumb. You wouldn’t just bring up in conversation, as a change of topic, things like “I suffer from a psychological disorder and I’m scared” or “I was sexually abused by a neighbor when I was a child” or “I’m unable to conceive and I am devastated.” Yet we all know some of these people. Some of us are one of these people.

It’s not common place to talk openly in a serious manner about unfaithfulness or life-ruining financial debt or domestic abuse or alcoholism over burgers and fries. Or over Twitter, even. Those conversations are most often private and limited to privy’d ears or eyes. For celebrities maybe it’s okay now, but for the everyday people in my everyday life there are things you just don’t talk about. You don’t talk about things because there’s a risk, as there’s a risk to everything, that you will end up hurting more.

And so it’s hard to bring up, in passing, that there’s a lump somewhere on your body that is painful and terrifying. It’s not easy to brooch the subject of addictions or incest, yet we can all easily acknowledge that these things exist. Therapy can work wonders, but so can talking to a stranger who has the time. It doesn’t take a therapist to be able to just talk shit out sometimes.

Jumping off of yesterday’s blog about People I Know, a lot of people I know do confide in me and often. I listen, and I confide in them too sometimes. As much as I share of my life in many different outlets, there are actually things I just don’t talk about. I talk about a lot of things, but some are so deeply rooted in my neuroses I don’t ever bring it up. But I will eventually.

The good news is I’ll always have a topic to dish about. The bad news is that it’s damn exhausting.

Always dishing,


Photo Credit


  1. You want to help but sometimes you don’t want to hear it on social media where people like to escape. Some things should be kept private.

    Is this something I shouldn’t mention?

    After 5 grandchildren (sixth on the way :)), 3 children, and babysitting umteenth generations of babies, I still haven’t learned to not put my finger in a diaper to check the ‘weather’.

    Keep on dishin’ Jun!

    1. Jun Song Author

      I love having you around though for just that reason…your grandchildren and children and generations of learning and knowledge that you always share with me 🙂

  2. We all feel scared, angry, happy, sad, horny, and yes , even jealous at times. But a lot of our feelings stay deep within us. We tend to share very little of our inner being. Worrying that if too much is known we will be labeled freak, nympho, idiot, psychotic or heaven forbid too normal. Your blog seems to be and should be your safe zone. The place where it can all come out. And we who read them can see we are not alone. Your tweets are fun and flighty whereas your blogs release more of you. It is a therapy that you don’t pay cash for, you pay in vulnerability. I do the same, but in journal form. I do not share my journal, but reading through it helps me put things in perspective. We all cope in different ways, but at least we cope. Keep Dishing , we’ll keep reading and learning.

  3. Sparky

    There is a Christian hymn names Gladly The Cross I’d Bear which children often hear as Gladly, the cross-eyed bear. We all have our own cross-eyed bears that we carry around. Some are just too painful to talk about even in person. Some are considered too embarrassing and some we just get tired of explaining to others. But our cross eyed bears are always with us.

  4. Melissa

    I love reading about all the crazy things that you go through and the culture there in Belgium. I most love the stories about noah ( I love babies). I don’t mind the occasional I’m going kick someones ass and I don’t need to know who they are. Your good at cooking which I’ve learned a few things there. Your just good at what you do and I don’t need to know absolutely everything. ♥♥♥

  5. Ok confession time. I thought you were going to write about how you are not suppose to talk about all the sex stuff you tell us about. Silly me. I can’t talk about that stuff, too embarrassing. These things I can relate to. I am the person that would talk about things and learned that most do not want to hear about it. Only share happy things.

    Can I just say Bull Shit to that.

    BTW you have the most beautiful nails. mine break at 1/8 inch. Those are yours right they do not look fake.

    1. Jun Song Author

      Oh, the photo isn’t of me! I found it in a Google search because I just didn’t have anything that would do this blog justice. There is a link “Photo Credit” at the end of the blog where you can see the photos details 🙂

      But I do have pretty amazing nails 🙂

      Only sharing happy things isn’t a bad thing either, not necessarily. I enjoy the things you share so far 🙂

  6. OkieChris

    I have the opposite problem. I can’t talk about sex but ask me anything else and I’ll fill your ears with how my life went down & up & down & up.


Feel Free to Dish!