Sibling Day

Sibling DayThis was me, today. Sibling Day was yesterday, and I missed it. I never knew there was such thing as a “Sibling Day” although it seems this phenomenon is limited to a small number of revelers. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised there’s such a day, and after doing a skeletal Google search I know I’m supposed to be “honoring the bond” between me and my brother.

I have a brother, younger, despite my rare mentions of him. Part of the reason I don’t divulge very much about him, Danny, is because he prefers his privacy. And the other part? I respect his preference for privacy.

But without compromising any “privates” I’d like to say a few sorries:

~ I’m sorry I dropped you on the dresser drawer, on your forehead, when you were just a few months old. I’m more sorry that you still have a scar from it.

~ I’m sorry I let you eat dead flies, and counted how many you were eating while you ate them, off the windowsills that hot summer you were a year old. I thought it was funny even if I got in trouble later when momz gagged after she caught us.

~ I’m sorry I had to tell on you to momz every time you went and stuck your finger in someone’s butt hole at church (because you were totally obsessed with butt holes when you were a two-year-old). At the time I believed it when momz told me you’d become a “sex psycho” if we didn’t stop you from poking people in their butt holes.

Halloween1985

~ I’m sorry I let momz dress you up in one of my dresses for Halloween when you were four. It was funny at the time, but looking back, you can totally laugh at me in my Strawberry Shortcake get-up too.

Kindergarten

~ I’m sorry I let momz give you that same fishbowl haircut through kindergarten graduation. But thank you for being the cutest little brother ever on that day you graduated.

I love you dear brother, but don’t expect anything next year since this whole Sibling Day isn’t a “real holiday”!

Always dishing,

Jun

 

8 Comments

  1. The entire but hole thing is hilarious 1st your brother 2nd Momz and no anal sex 3rd what to watch out for with Noah. Good luck with that.

    Why do you call your Mom Momz and not Umma? I may have that wrong as usual but whatever you want Noah to call you is my point.

    Thanks

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  2. GaYToR

    Sibling Day? I missed it. I heard the word and thought someone was saying Cybiling as in the multiple personality disorder patient named Cybil. I was out celebrating by being one of my other personalities. Next time I’ll pay more attention and read Jun Dishes first.

    But poor Danny. I’m surprised he surprised he survived. I’m even more curious as to how he grew up to be the normal one. No man is safe around you and Momz.

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