I just watched the three-minute video of how the finale vote went down on Big Brother Canada, without breathing. I can do that, hold my breath for lengths of time, and I’ve always been able to for as long as I can remember. Now you know something about me that you didn’t know.
I held my breath because I couldn’t believe what was happening. Of course as a longtime Big Brother fan I was shocked, because we’d seen nothing like this on the U.S. seasons. Then, as someone who’s sat in that proverbial seat where Jillian and Gary were sitting, I wished security had come out and escorted Topaz off the set for being over-the-top annoying about it all.
That never would have gone down with Julie Chen on stage. Topaz, and some of her hair, would have been tackled for going near Mrs. Moonves. Maybe even a taser or two would come out, but Topaz was actually yanking on Arisa Cox.
My god, let’s use our imaginations as to what Chenbot would have done. Glorious. Was anyone else surprised Dan didn’t jump up on stage and save the day? He missed a huge coaching opportunity. Chelsea looked beautiful as always.
As did Jillian. I said in my pre-season cast assessment about Jillian:
“She’s a teacher and she went on the show for the same reason I did…out of a long-term relationship and wanting to do it to “shake up” her life. I consider this a good thing, she seems to be one of the more normal people cast. She reminds me of Rachel from BB6.”
Big Brother is good for the soul of the broken-hearted. It worked for me, and it did for Jillian. Except she should have just owned her merciless game moves and lied better (as opposed to less, because lying is essential in BB) through the season. She’s most definitely one of the stronger females to have won Big Brother. If Topaz did not make that mistake, then Jillian would have been robbed. End of that story, but for Jillian her story has a good ending in many ways.
I had Jillian as second most likely to win, only after Suzette (another disappointment), in my assessment so I’m happy for her. Overall. She almost lost because of her poor social game, but Topaz Emerald Cubic Zirconia handed her the win.
If I was Gary I would have found Topaz right away at wrap-up, and brought my elbow down on her tit with all my might. No, that’s disgusting. Besides, that would never happen because I’m not Gary. For so many reasons besides glitter, but basically because I won. Plus, I won on my own with good twists and not stupid shady ones. Anyone who knows anything about Big Brother knows that non-sequestered jurors shouldn’t be allowed back in the house. Sequestering versus non-sequestering, hello.
As far as Peter and Alec and the rest of the disappointments, I’m over them. Topaz should be mortified and persecuted in reality television life, but not in her real life. Fucking fuck if I’m going to ever send anyone death threats over a freaking television game show, whatever, seriously? Stop the madness. With so much violence plastered in headlines and scrapbooks all over and close-to-home…find another way to get your anger out. Don’t threaten to kill Big Brother houseguests. Go kill a dragon instead.
P.S.: I know some of you may disagree with me, but it’s not like the first season of Big Brother (U.S.) is something to be fiercely proud of either. Hopefully Canada gets over this one and they get their shit together for the next season.