Lost and Found

Imagine some nondescript house in the middle of nowhere, where in the basement is a door leading to a Lost and Found. This Lost and Found is not for lost items but lost friends, and you can go there just once in your lifetime to see if you can rekindle a broken friendship. Imagine that.

I know exactly which friendship I would try to make whole again, although it’s been years since this friendship got filed away into the darkness. It’s that friendship most people would say, “Oh, just reach out to your friend and try to talk to them” about so easily knowing just a few sparse details. If only things were that simple.

There are some friendships that end because they were meant to or needed to, or should have or had to. Like, the friend who was always a little too sexually attracted to you to be a true platonic friend. Or, the friend who married someone toxic and withdrew from everyone including you. Or, the friend who took advantage of you in some way and disappeared from your life. It’s easy to say, “Oh, they weren’t a true friend to begin with, if they did this or that, just forget about them” about certain kinds of friends.

I had this one friend for most of my life though, the one for whom I would use that one ticket into the Lost and Found for lost friends. She’d been my best friend. Those who knew us believed we’d been fated to be friends forever, a friend with whom I’d experienced so many firsts and lasts and never-should-haves until we just didn’t. Just like that, everything stopped.

Like a hopeless game of “Pin The Tail” I’d tried to nail down some reasoning, knowing life throws at us shit all the time. When my efforts to “talk about whatever it is” were coldly denied, I’d had no choice but to eventually walk away. That walk has been a long one bringing me this far in time and distance, but here I am still turning back every so often to see if there’s anyone there.

InCroatia

If I ever got to walk into that Lost and Found and claim my second chance, would this friend even want to be found? Some loose ends may never have been meant to be tied up. Perhaps I’m just selfish.

So I just keeping walking my walk…with one eye over my shoulder.

Always dishing,

Jun

21 Comments

  1. OMG no way I have an almost exact same story!!
    We were best friends to the point where people ask me now how this friend is, and when I respond with “I don’t know, I haven’t spoken to them in a whiel” they almost collapse in shock!!

    I would definitely use my ticket to see if this could be resolved. But as we don’t have this interesting luxury in real life I just chose to get on with my life, and only focus my energy and attention on those who would do the same for me

    Reply
  2. We were such good pals that we would spend the day together doing something and then be on the phone together just minutes after going home. then one day she stopped talking to me. wouldnt take my calls or answer the door when I knocked. I have no idea why it ended but I had no choice but to move on. For years I never got that close to another female friend and guard what i say. which makes all the rest of my pals not so great friends as they dont know my real thoughts. her leaving my life changed me and in the end I still dont know why.

    Reply
    1. Jun Song Author

      You made me think…about the “rest of my pals”…I wonder if I too am more guarded. I probably was to begin with because my friend was THE friend for me…and then without her, I felt meh. Years later I I still wonder but I do sleep at night 🙂

      Moving on…it’s all we can do.

      Reply
  3. I don’t know your back story, but I met my friend when we were in first grade. We did everything together right up through high school graduation. When my high school sweetheart asked me to marry him, of course she would be my maid of honor. And her boyfriend, my boyfriend’s best friend, was to be best man. Two months before the wedding she stopped taking my calls, and was never home when I went to see her. Her mom told me she was too busy to be in my wedding. She broke up with her boyfriend and I basically didn’t see or hear from her for three years. By then I was going through a divorce. She showed up at my parents’ house and left a note for me. The note said she couldn’t be in the wedding because she was pregnant and couldn’t tell me. I married the baby’s daddy, and he knew it all along. This friendship that was lost—I don’t EVER want to be found.

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  4. Sparky

    The person that I lost was a man I thought I would marry. We had made plans and talked for hours about it. Inseperable. People called us siamese twins. We were that close. He moved to an adjoining state and wrote long beautiful love letters and we ended each phone call with a countdown to when we could be together again and vowed our love. After one particularly tender and loving call, I never ever heard from him again. Wouldn’t answer the phone or my letters. Nothing. I always thought someday I would find out why he did that. I moved on and fell in love and married the best man on the planet and I never wanted the other one back, but I did occasionally wonder what happened. I had known for a long time that he was married and living in Houston and I just figured one day our paths would cross and I would know what happened. Not too long ago I found he had died. I never will know now what went wrong.

    Reply
    1. Jun Song Author

      Wow. There’s that closure you weren’t expecting. I guess sometimes we just have to fall back on everything happening for a reason. Thanks for sharing my dear. I always appreciate your experiences 🙂

      Reply
  5. karen

    I really enjoyed cuz its so true!..its hard to understand why ppl leave especially without explanation..I had a friend who asked me to marry him…I went away for something. . When I came back he was with an aquaintance..she pulled him..he went..30yrs later..no joke..asking me to run off…..no thank u sir..

    Reply
  6. I too have had this happen to me. Someone I met and didn’t like in JHS but became best friends with in HS. Remained close friends for years after, her living with me prior to getting married and moving to France with her ball playing husband. When I moved back to NYC in 2000 after being diagnosed w/ MS, she came down from Connecticut to visit. Over the next 5 years, everything continued as before. I’d planned on moving to a more accessible apartment and she offered to come down to help. That was June 17, 2005. Never heard from her again. Called repeatedly, called her mother…nothing. Reconnected with our mutual friend on FB and they’re in touch. Finally let it go because I can’t continue to rack my brain over what prompted her to dispose of our 25 year ‘friendship’. If I could get an honest answer, I’d like that but other than that, I’m good!

    Reply
  7. Shelly

    Not to make light…but I’m living in that basement…literally. What an adjustment.

    Intriguing blog…awesome shadow pic. I found myself wondering if said friend would read this and know you were talking about her.

    I hope she knows and knocks…I hate untied ends personally.

    Much love Korean guhl

    Reply
    1. Jun Song Author

      Thanks Shelly. So many months later I’m reading this and thinking how hard you’ve been working for your family. Much love to you and yours 🙂

      Reply

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