If I Was Your Korean Mother


If you got that exchange, you’ll get these:

1. If I was your Korean mother I’d cook up a feast and feed you then tell you you’re getting fat and take away your food, then the next time I see you I’ll say you “Oh, you so skinny!” and feed you then tell you you’re getting fat, then…

2. If I was your Korean mother I’d have an imaginary daughter or son-in-law from the day you were born, and remind you about getting married to that person every day especially on the weekends and in public.

3. If I was your Korean mother nothing would be my fault, unless I was being dramatic and trying to guilt you in which case everything would be my fault for trying to be a good Korean mother and failing so horribly I should be struck down and die right there in front of you.

4. If I was your Korean mother I’d gossip about everyone but call it “not the my fault” because people like telling me things.

5. If I was your Korean mother I’d get my hair permed at some point in my life, and so curly they’re like ramen noodles on steroids.

6. If I was your Korean mother I’d get on my hands and knees and make twenty pounds of kimchee without so much as a pee break, so you could take it back with you to your dorm at collegee.

7. If I was your Korean mother I’d make you bow your head in respect to people in the Korean community, even if you just heard me gossiping about them with Mrs. Park at the Korean bakery.

8. If I was your Korean mother I’d tell you “to thinking about why” you didn’t get 100% on your test, and ask who in your class did get 100% so I could remember their names and remind you later.

9. If I was your Korean mother I’d send you off to your class field trips with Korean kimbab, making your friends point and laugh at your weird lunch compared to their ham and cheese sandwiches.

10. If I was your Korean mother I’d tell you that your spouse is always right but I’d know in my heart that you, my child, are always right in my Korean eyes.


To my Korean mother, all Korean mothers, and all mothers with Korean hearts out there…

Happy Mother’s Day.

Always dishing,



  1. Anonymous

    So, in a way, much like any of us mothers do things but with a Korean twist. That’s ok because we ALL have your own twist on things whether it’s an ethnic reason, an upbringing reason not related to ethnicity, life experiences, etc.

    Being a Mother. The 1 secret seldom spoken about or shared however by many (but if you use your “friend” you’ll learn more) is that there will be times in your life where you will not like being a mother (May hate it, regret it). You may not even like your child(ren) at that or those times. It’s inevitable even for those who absolutely adore motherhood and their children.

    There is nothing wrong with you, rest assured, if that happens and no need to feel guilt. It will pass. (If it doesn’t then obviously you will need to get some help).Too many have hid or hide the shame of those feelings due to society.

    Just some unsolicited wisdom to pass along for the future.


  2. Anastasia

    Happy Mother’s Day, Jun Mi!! I bet those that made fun of you about eating Korean kimbab are the same ones that are eating it today and loving it! (looked it up and it does sound yummy!)!

    Happy Mother’s Day to Momz, too! Hope you both have plenty if time to Skype today!

    1. GaYToR

      Happy Mother’s Day Jun. Poor Noah! He has a whole lifetime ahead of being the son of a Korean mother. And he will be the wiser for it.


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