I haven’t read spoilers. I’m basing this breakdown based solely on the ABC Bios and Handwriting Samples of all 25 bachelors this season of The Bachelorette.
Our Bachelorette Desiree Hartsock.
I hope to see Desiree actually look excited around a guy…more excited than she was when she was ever around Sean Lowe. She always seem bored with Sean…I hope she really does like men after all.
So on to some men:
RED FLAGS: The following bachelors raised a red flag for me for random and usually petty reason.
Brad – Will Farrell is his favorite actor and ESPN Magazine is his favorite book.
Brian – If he could be any-freaking-one for a day it would be Donald Trump, plus some of his answers make it clear that he’s had psycho golddigging exes in the past.
Brooks – His outfit makes me frown it’s so sad, and his handwriting is just a little better than actual chicken scratch.
Diogo – Possibly gay, and apparently very bothered that his questionnaire was tailored for a woman and not a man (because the ABC intern copied and distributed the wrong version).
Juan Pablo – Player. Soccer Player. Same thing. Oh, and he requests “good size breasts” in a mate.
Kasey – Name-dropper and big boasting type because he wants to be liked is the vibe I get from him.
Larry – An ER doctor, which means Des would never see him anyway…but he says if he could have lunch with anyone it would be Bill Clinton to “talk about changing the world and ladies” which is funny, but a red flag if it wasn’t meant to be funny.
Mikey T. – Everything about this guy’s answers and his “look” remind me of Des’s brother.
Nick R. – He’s a “Tailor/Magician” which makes me worry for crotches everywhere. He’s also the token “short” guy in a sea of giants, and he is angry about a lot of things judging from his answers.
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JUST NOT READIES: The following bachelors are just not ready for marriage but they say they are.
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NICE ENOUGH GUYS: The following bachelors are really just nice enough guys, and may hang a while this season, but I don’t think any of them are “The One” for Des.
…and last but not least:
TOP 7 PICKS: In order of my personal preference, and in the interest of Des, these are my top picks from the pool of 25. They collectively seem less douchebaggy and overall normal in public.
Can’t wait to see all of these bachelors exit the limos tonight…