Jun Dishes

verb/diSH/ : food or sex or gossip or fiction in real life

Laugh Your Nuts Off: The Bachelorette

With the week I’ve been having it’s a wonder I got to watch this week’s episode of The Bachelorette at all, but I did and I’m glad I did. This is when I wish actually had nuts because I’d say I laughed my nuts off watching Monday’s show. Here are some reasons why…

10 Laugh Your Nuts Off Moments:

1. How humiliatingly adorable and butt-hugging the dodgeball outfits were. And the dramatic entrances by the eventually-losing red team, and the winning blue team.Dodgeball

2. How Brooks broke his finger in the first few seconds of the dodgeball match, during the rush, and ABC focused on the loud ambulances outside the emergency room as if Brooks had been shot or stabbed. Brooks ends up with a broken finger, which he faints over while they lock it back in place, and then shows up at the cocktail party that night anyway still in his smelly dodgeball outfit and emergency room germs…and basically high on pain meds.  But Des makes out with him for it, so all is not lost for Brooks.Brooks

3. How gross that hot tub must have been. I really couldn’t think anything else but “Sperm Bank” when I saw this scene.SpermBank

4. How Juan Pablo actually KNOWS WHAT TO DO WITH HIS HANDS when kissing. So many other bachelors don’t. Like poor Bryden.JPHands

5. How hot pink that shirt was on James (reminiscent of Shane from BB).

JamesHotPink

6. How Brian’s on-again-off-again girlfriend, Stephanie, shows up at the mansion and shrieks about how she and Brian basically fucked two days before he’d come to meet Desiree, etc… Stephanie also waled about her two year old son Donovan that Brian was now abandoning while being a “Lying cheating deceitful pig.” Oh, and a coward. Needless to say Brian got sent home.

Brian Scandal

7. How much Brandon cried about having found love in Des and then about how when he was a little boy and men would come into his life as a father figure and then disappear over-night (like what Brian did to Donovan). He then tells Des that he’s falling in love with her and finally Des sees the light and sends him home. Brandon needs someone to talk to about all his childhood hurt, and fast.Brandon

8. How Michael G. sashayed in to the dodgeball match. With his mannerisms and high-pitched voice, I just don’t know about this dude.
Michael G

9. How stupid it was that 10 grown men got so excited and salivated over seeing Des in CASUAL CLOTHES, but acting as if she was wearing nothing crotchless panties and heels. Get real. Don’t overdo it.DesDown10. How many guys Des kissed. She kissed A LOT. Good for her. Test out those goods. She’s not perfect, but nobody is and I forgive her for a lot (including those wretched nude legging things she was sporting during Brian’s demise).

Always dishing,

Jun

 

Posted under: Reality Dishes

Tagged as: , ,

7 comments

Feel Free to Dish!