Jun Dishes

verb/diSH/ : food or sex or gossip or fiction in real life

Big Brother 15 Bullseye – Week 2

I said last week: All scores are based on overall strategy in working the house and America and the potential jury. It seems some of you wanted clarification and I was prepared to clarify…and then Julie Chen shows up all over the place with hair so fake and big that her own eyes hurt.

ChenbotWTF

I nearly gave up all together on this season.

But I didn’t.

~ ~ ~

Working the house (“WTH”) would be something like Amanda who is neither vehemently disliked nor cherished, yet she has the ability to work the house on her own without anyone else’s help. Scored 0-4, with zero meaning you suck.

Working America (“WA”) would be something like Helen who is clearly speaking more to America than she is to the diary room when she’s spelling everything out for us with the occasional hair flip for emphasis. Scored 1-3.

Working the potential jury (“WJ”) would be like Howard keeping his cool and thinking long term to jury as he does in life when faced with racism, and he should be commended and not faulted for his repressing his voice because it’s his choice and his choice only. Scored 1-3.

 

Wk2BB15Bullseye

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Aaryn: WTH: Although the house isn’t seeing what we’re seeing they’re  getting worked up by you rather than worked, but unlike Amanda your actions are bouncing back onto you in a game based on social manipulation and not racial bullying (+10 points). WA: You play the game unaware that a very vocal part of the Big Brother world finds your hate unacceptable, and that your mark on the internet is a dark stain among dirty stains (0 points). WJ: This assumes you make it to the end and you get to meet a jury of people you’ve degraded and disrespected, which is possible given the dynamics in choosing who gets taken to the end, but you will not win because this is not your time to win anything (+10 points). I only hope you face your music hard and swift and apologize to many. Week 1: 20 points // Week 2: 20 points

DouchePOV

Jeremy: WTH: You are working Kaitlin’s house and leaving sex squirts all over the BB house, but your brazenly douchey wearing of the POV around your neck in the hot tub makes you so beneath the rest of the house. (+10 points). WA: You play the game unaware that we hear and see what you’re made of, and that your ego is a magnet for girls who mention their daddies every time they’re about to fake an orgasm. (+0 points). WJ: You seem so equal-opportunity vile that some of the jury may actually appreciate your refreshingly transparent future in which you fail at life (+10 points). I only hope you age the way I think you’re gonna age, and that we all get to see what you look like in 20 years. Week 1: 20 points // Week 2: 20 points

GM

GinaMarieWTH: You’re too busy working Nick into a fatal attraction corner that you suck at working the house to your advantage, and twice in a row you are blindsided because you’re like a blind bipolar bully (+10 points). WA: You may not be getting the edit that dear Aaryn is getting, but you are not working America the way you’re working your imaginary pageant stripper pole (+0 points). WJ: Half the potential jury may let you slip to the end knowing you’re a mental case just in need of some attention, and perfect to sit next to at the end, but no jury would award you a win right now. (+10 points). I only hope someone from New York comes along next season to wash away your New York state of bigoted mind. Week 1: 20 points // Week 2: 20 points

CandiceWTH: Nothing you’ve done or said equals your skin color in the eyes of Aaryn and GinaMarie, but you’ve risen above that and started working the house more, since last week (+20 points). WA: You’re not a super fan but you’re attracting super fans who appreciate what you represent this season, and that you’re not “a Libra” or anyone other black HG who came before you so remember that (+20 points). WJ: You haven’t shown yourself to be untrustworthy in the game yet you’ve had to endure much more than some of the others in the house, so if you should get to the end you have one hell of a jury speech to give (+20 points). I only hope that your mom stops talking to outlets like TMZ about Aaryn being “the devil” and such. Week 1: 20 points // Week 2: 60 points

WHAT

ElissaWTH: You somehow work the house despite your slow and slurred speech and manage to evict your two MVP nominations back-to-back (+40 points). WA: Your constant thanking of America through fake-lashed eyes and mention of “Brenchel Army” makes me gag then dramaticly dry-heave, but I don’t represent America and they’re voting you MVP so… (+20 points). WJ: You will smother the jury about having to beat the odds of being Rachel Reilly’s sister every day just like you’re doing now. (0 points). I only hope the young people watching realize there’s such a thing as too young for botox and implants that make you look like a kewpie doll. Week 1: 40 points // Week 2: 60 points

KaitlinWTH: You’re doing what you probably do every day at work, and that’s survive without leading but following, but you’ll have to be more active in strategy besides swapping spit with Jeremy (+10 points). WA: You’re not as interested in what America thinks of you as you are concerned with what your money-stealing stockbroker dad is thinking about your juicy escapades with Jeremy (+0 points). WJ: You came close in the HOH competition before Helen finally won in the end, but coming close enough in competitions is not going to get you jury votes if you’re already failing at working the house (+10 points). I only hope that your blood test come back clean after all the intimacy with Manimal. Week 1: 40 points // Week 2: 20 points

roar

HelenWTH: You’re working the house in different degrees and managed to work them against Nick despite your being on the block yourself last week, which may come back to haunt you especially after winning HOH this week (+20 points). WA: You’re in pretty good with America despite your incessant crying and soft shell, and it doesn’t hurt that you have Brenchel Army in your corner as back-up (+20 points). WJ: You have a very strong jury speech already despite two weeks of gameplay, and as long as you don’t break down or get caught you will get to meet the jury (+20 points). I only hope that you’ll never have to experience what Candice had to experience this week at the hands of Aaryn and GinaMarie. Week 1: 40 points // Week 2: 60 points

McPizza

McCraeWTH: I hope your pizza is better than your willpower because you spill everything to Amanda as if she owns you, and the rest of the house knows too that you have your “head in a vice” (+10 points). WA: The bad news is that half of America is amused by you but not enough to vote you MVP, and the rest are confused by you but again not enough… (+10 points). WJ: You managed to walk away from your first HOH without getting too much blood on your hands, but the jury knows this is because your hands have been full of Amanda instead  (+20 points). I only hope that she’ll like you just as much as she does now when she finds out you really are a pizza boy. Week 1: 40 points // Week 2: 40 points

AndyWTH: You’re working the house like a red-headed stepchild floater, and your name has never come up for nomination possibilities (+10 points). WA: You haven’t shown America all the big moves and new gay behaviors separating you from past gay HGs, but you haven’t made things too much worse in anyway and we hate that you’re subjected to such hurtful gay jokes in the house (+20 points). WJ: You continue to make your way around the jury pool in the house, and your best argument should you get to the end is that you somehow got to the end (+10 points). I only hope that you’ll orchestrate and fulfill at least one plan of your own this season. Week 1: 40 points // Week 2: 40 points

JessieWTH: This is clearly summer camp for you considering your maturity level is at “bonfires and marshmallows”, yet your playing your role as the summer’s harmless helpless hornball pretty well (+10 points). WA: You just hope your cuteness will win America over while that’s not happening any time soon, because we all know cute is a nice way of saying “pretty but cuckoo” most of the time (+10 points). WJ: Your only possible argument right now should you face a jury is that you’ve kept your legs closed, in theory, and your eyes and ears opened to make it to the end (+20 points). I only hope that you’ll drop the damsel-in-dryspell act so we can see a better side of you. Week 1: 40 points // Week 2: 40 points

boobs

AmandaWTH: Bandaids on boobs or not, you are a force in the house and this season because like it or not you’re working everything and everyone including bandaids (+40 points). WA: America wants to believe that your talk with Aaryn was a genuine one, but the fact that you started it with “I think you’re joking but…” makes me doubt your intentions (+10 points). WJ: You’re walking a fine line between what you leave in the diary room and what you drag outside the diary room, and it will hurt you if you talk too much which you’re prone to doing (+10 points). I only hope that all this attention for your body is doing you some good because you clearly needed to badly put yourself on display. Week 1: 60 points // Week 2: 60 points

SpencerWTH: I believe your sociopathic tendencies are helping you so far in working the house, but your mouth is what’s hurting you despite having fooled most people in the house into thinking you’re just a good guy (+20 points). WA: America is aware of your anti-semitism and otherwise hate for women who are not white, or gay men for that matter, but we just haven’t seen it aired yet on television (+10 points). WJ: You’re already being branded as a snake in the house, and you’ll probably meet it’s sting by way of eviction before you ever meet jury. (+10 points). I only hope that you use your natural thirst for knowledge in a good way when you leave the house. Week 1: 60 points // Week 2: 40 points

NickWTF

Nick: You’re gone. Your speech was so embarrassing I had to look away without so much as a screenshot. Well, one screenshot…of your face with Chenbot announced your eviction.

JuddWTH: You’re the odd-man-out living in a town of not enough gas stations, but you’ve managed to find a neutral zone with everyone in the house early on (+40 points). WA: America may not understand you 100% of the time, but the language of Big Brother love surpasses the need for subtitles this summer (+30 points). WJ: If you get to jury you will surely win and be the sleeper hit of the summer, and deservedly so because your social game is most consistent so far. (+30 points). I only hope you’ve learned that your dream “JoJo” is not GinaMarie. Week 1: 100 points // Week 2: 100 points

HowardWTH: You manage to fit right in despite your size in the Big Brother house, but it’s your presence and not your size that’s playing a bigger roll as you suppress so much in such a short amount of time (+20 points). WA: America seems to be torn between wanting you to stand up against racism, and wanting you to keep the peace, and it’s a blessing and curse to be where you are right now (+20 points). WJ: Whether or not you win any competitions this season, your jury speech will be something I look forward to if or when you get there because you’ll get to explain all your success and failures (+20 points). I only hope Aaryn doesn’t do something to your bible because I fear that will be the last blonde straw that broke Howard’s back. Week 1: 100 points // Week 2: 60 points

~ ~ ~

 

FavsWeek2

This is only the second eviction yet it feels like two years has passed. Holy shit this summer’s going to be a long one…so let’s end this week with a:

DIARY ROOM CRACKHEAD OF THE WEEK:

Crackhead

And for those keeping track…Judd is in the lead with 200 points in two weeks, with Howard following close behind with 160 points. See you all next week for another bullseye blog!

Always dishing,

Jun

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26 comments

  • Thanks for bringing that point up about Amanda saying, ” I think you’re joking…”. She also pinned it on that “they” are having a problem with it, and not herself. It’s nice that she is trying to talk about it, but I disagree with some outlets that want to award her a medal.

    No you didn’t go there about Mr.Barnaby. I’ve read your tweets and blogs for a few BB seasons and really enjoy them.

    • Jun Song on July 14, 2013 at 9:49 pm said:

      Reply

      I caught it right away and it bugged me…

      What she did was not easy but she framed it in a way to protect herself. It’s interesting seeing how everyone deals with this stuff, because it’s just like this in the real world :)

      Thank you for letting me go there about Barnaby. I appreciate your sharing here!

      • Sarah on July 15, 2013 at 7:35 am said:

        I completely took her “I think your joking…” comment as a way to approach Aryan without sounding like she was attacking or accusing her, so that they could have a conversation about it. From what I have witnessed on the feeds, approaching Aaryn about anything usually leads to her victimizing herself so I thought she was trying a lighter approach…maybe I took it the wrong way but I am hoping Amanda’s intentions were good!

      • I’m with Sarah on this one. At first it came across like Amanda was dodging her own disgust, but I think she was trying to seem like she was on Aaryn’s side so as to soften her up. No such luck, but I applauded Amanda’s efforts.

  • This has to be the most (over)scripted, contrived, disingenuous BB series that I have ever seen, CBS has strayed from the concept of “social experiment” and replaced it with bad MTV. Some if not most of those false DR’s just make me cringe and repeatedly question by intelligence. The nepotistic hiring of that plastic,sycophantic dim-wit Elissa is truly befuddling. Still, I continue watching her with a mixture of repulsion and awe while wondering how much more my sensitive disposition can take. All in all, I applaud you Jun for even having words to describe her WTH, WA and WJ cause all you and I share in this case is the “gag and dry heave”.

    • Jun Song on July 14, 2013 at 9:52 pm said:

      Reply

      Oh it’s very much MTV-ish. Most diary rooms are a waste of time. It’s hard writing about Elissa I’ll be honest :)

  • Jun, thank you sooo much for that screenshot of Diary Room Crackhead of the week. I can’t stop laughing!!!

  • Anonymous on July 13, 2013 at 11:11 pm said:

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    Jun, on a personal note – loved your comment “I don’t sweat, I glisten.” Loved it and you.

  • Anonymous on July 14, 2013 at 7:01 am said:

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    Jun. You agitate the waters like no other. Your lusty comments are bold as a hawk, original as grits without butter.

    • Jun Song on July 14, 2013 at 9:32 pm said:

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      Jack…it could only be you…I knew it was you…

      No one else can put grits and butter together like you do :)

  • Anonymous on July 15, 2013 at 11:00 pm said:

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    Andy reminds me of Ian from last year…playing both (all) sides of the house. Seems as though no one realizes that he is EVERYWHERE. Can’t wait for his BIG move.

  • Am I the only one who feels like Howard dealt himself what could be a pre jury boot blow this week? I mean, he proved to both Candice and Helen (the two people in the house besides Spencer who trusted him the most) that he had no problem lying skillfully to their faces while they tried to give him opportunities to confess. I don’t think most of the house is going to forget that any time soon.

    As a person and eye candy, I do think he is fantastic though. 😉

  • Judd is the kind of player that will win because h A) Is the type that the majority of Americans consider to be most like them. and B) Is one of the few actually playing :)

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