In the international reality television sporting world, Big Brother, is a veryheavyweight among heavyweights. Two of the skinniest winners ever are Will Kirby and Dan Gheesling, yet they’re the heavyweights of Big Brother USA. Who is the best winner of the two?
As a winner myself, I don’t jump in on this BB sausage sword fight and would rather blog smug about it anyway. It wouldn’t be me if I put personal feelings aside the whole time so this should be fun…
I said in my Part One of my Big Brother Winners blog: “Will Kirby, is the Godfather of BB Villains because he did it FIRST for all of America to watch and then came back and gave a good show. Having met and spent hours with him I can tell you he loves himself IMMENSELY as much as he seems like he does on television.”
And in Part Two: “Dan Gheesling, former reality television groupie turned winner and coach and Christian, husband and author, and BB guru and consultant, and candle scent. Yes, he has a misty candle out there you can buy…and deservedly so since he’s NEVER had one eviction vote cast upon him in the two seasons he’s played.”
This summer I’m ranking Big Brother 15 HGs on certain criteria week-to-week, and if applied to Will and Dan:
Working the house (“WTH”) is something both Will and Dan can do on their own in very different ways.
Working America (“WA”) is something both Will and Dan can do and CBS loves them both for it.
Working the potential jury (“WJ”) is something Will is better at than Dan not just in Big Brother but in real life. Period. Period! The Newsroom anyone?
Basics: Just like everything else just my self-inflated opinion so no death threats please…
They both won their first seasons and impressively (W,D).
There would be no Dan if there had been no Will (W).
Everything Will did in his first season surpasses what Dan did in his first (W).
They both went on to the next phase of their real lives after their first seasons (W,D).
They both lost their second seasons.
Will’s got a family and Dan’s married and both decent citizens on the surface (W,D).
Dan made it further than Will did the second time he lost, cashing in second place (D).
Will is an All-Star and Dan was a coach with immunity for a month (W).
Dan hasn’t had any work done to his face compared to Will therefore making it easier on the fans (D).
Will is naturally funnier than Dan (W).
You can see Will coming but you can smell Dan coming (W).
Dan will use the bible conveniently (W).
Will is obsessed with money and Dan is obsessed with fame.
Will can mind-fuck you without a bible or a funeral (W).
Dan wakes up to Big Brother before coffee which is unforgivable yet point-worthy (D).
Will is patronizing while Dan is high on his own mist (W).
They each live with incredibly beautiful women under nice roofs (W,D).
Will’s greatest fear is skin cancer and Dan’s greatest fear is being forgotten (W).
Will’s a legend and Dan needs to be a legend (W).
Having met Will and emailed with Dan I’d go up against both in the Big Brother house given the chance, just to see them eye each other up and play along (W,D).
We don’t have to count up the Ws or the Ds because I’m overwhelmingly Will. There’s such a thing as history and playing on Big Brother sacred grounds. Dan has things Will doesn’t have, but Will has more things that Dan never had. Sorry to the die-hard Dan fans, but if we’re talking legends then Will was the first. Dan is always second. Dan does bust his ass though, maintaining his Big Brother presence.
You can add if you want, but I tried keeping this just under a novel.