I don’t remember everything about my kindergarten friends, but I remember I had a lot of them. It’s because I was almost always The Best Napper. I don’t know if other kindergarten teachers rewarded good nappers, but mine did. Mrs. Camper.
Every day after lunch and play we’d all take a nap before snack time. The quietest and stillest napper in the room got awoken by Mrs. Camper, and was given a paper mache wand with a beautiful star of aluminum foil at the tip. With this wand The Best Napper would awaken the rest of the class one-by-one, and I took it seriously. I’d even tried to replicate the wand at home just so I could have one, but I was never able to and just ended up wasting foil which was expensive according to my mother.
I wasn’t always The Best Napper, but I held the class record and everyone wanted to be awoken first thus everyone wanted to be my friend. To be awoken first meant you got to roll up your sleeping mat and put it away before everyone else did, and you got to get up off the floor and sit in a chair. How small and simple our pleasures were at age 5.
So began my understanding of how popularity worked. Choosing a chair first meant getting the one closest to where Mrs. Camper would serve snacks. It was always two pieces of fruit, and sitting closer to the sink meant you’d get your fruit first. My friends got their fruit first, and because I was The Best Napper I got the last seat and got my fruit last.
In kindergarten I loved doing it for my friends and they loved me for it. In real life I always do such things for my friends and I love doing it. Like seen in Joy Luck Club, I watched my mother always provide the best quality foods to friends and guests. If ever there was a piece of fruit with a bad bruise, she’d cut it out and eat that fruit herself always leaving the freshest fruit for me and my brother and father.
In Big Brother, you must do such things to get to the end. You have to put yourself first but know when to put yourself second. You have to understand the dynamics of power and find a sweet spot to ride out sociopaths and racists and hair extensions all over the filthy pace. We can call it The Best Floater or The Best Napper but it’s not a bad thing. In fact, if there were no floaters in life we’d all just sleep with our bosses or put out sex tapes or other ridiculous headlines in life to get ahead. Not all of us get ahead the way Julie Chen did, and the more power to her right? Not for me, thanks.
So in this Big Brother 15 season chock-full-of reality television insanity, who’s floating?
Andy’s floating most of all, and I don’t blame him, because there are 12 Type A personalities in there and 2 Type B-and-a-half. Everyone is floating to some degree because it’s impossible not to. The MVP twist encourages floating in fact, though Elissa winning it every week defeats the purpose of anything good coming out of this new MVP twist.
Photo Credit: Thanks to OBB for the most enticing photo of Andy.