Jun Dishes

verb/diSH/ : food or sex or gossip or fiction in real life

The Best Napper

I don’t remember everything about my kindergarten friends, but I remember I had a lot of them. It’s because I was almost always The Best Napper. I don’t know if other kindergarten teachers rewarded good nappers, but mine did. Mrs. Camper.


Every day after lunch and play we’d all take a nap before snack time. The quietest and stillest napper in the room got awoken by Mrs. Camper, and was given a paper mache wand with a beautiful star of aluminum foil at the tip. With this wand The Best Napper would awaken the rest of the class one-by-one, and I took it seriously. I’d even tried to replicate the wand at home just so I could have one, but I was never able to and just ended up wasting foil which was expensive according to my mother.

I wasn’t always The Best Napper, but I held the class record and everyone wanted to be awoken first thus everyone wanted to be my friend. To be awoken first meant you got to roll up your sleeping mat and put it away before everyone else did, and you got to get up off the floor and sit in a chair. How small and simple our pleasures were at age 5.

So began my understanding of how popularity worked. Choosing a chair first meant getting the one closest to where Mrs. Camper would serve snacks. It was always two pieces of fruit, and sitting closer to the sink meant you’d get your fruit first. My friends got their fruit first, and because I was The Best Napper I got the last seat and got my fruit last.

In kindergarten I loved doing it for my friends and they loved me for it. In real life I always do such things for my friends and I love doing it. Like seen in Joy Luck Club, I watched my mother always provide the best quality foods to friends and guests. If ever there was a piece of fruit with a bad bruise, she’d cut it out and eat that fruit herself always leaving the freshest fruit for me and my brother and father.

In Big Brother, you must do such things to get to the end. You have to put yourself first but know when to put yourself second. You have to understand the dynamics of power and find a sweet spot to ride out sociopaths and racists and hair extensions all over the filthy pace. We can call it The Best Floater or The Best Napper but it’s not a bad thing. In fact, if there were no floaters in life we’d all just sleep with our bosses or put out sex tapes or other ridiculous headlines in life to get ahead. Not all of us get ahead the way Julie Chen did, and the more power to her right? Not for me, thanks.

So in this Big Brother 15 season chock-full-of reality television insanity, who’s floating?


Andy’s floating most of all, and I don’t blame him, because there are 12 Type A personalities in there and 2 Type B-and-a-half. Everyone is floating to some degree because it’s impossible not to. The MVP twist encourages floating in fact, though Elissa winning it every week defeats the purpose of anything good coming out of this new MVP twist.

Always dishing,


Photo Credit: Thanks to OBB for the most enticing photo of Andy.

Posted under: Big Brother, Reality TV Dishes

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  • I was never a great napper. I envy those that are. For instance, Danny can take a nap at the mere mention of the word. He can get comfy and be in nap mode in less time than it took me to type the previous sentence.

    I on the other hand will toss and turn and I’ll have rushing, rambling thoughts for 30 minutes and give up. I’m more exhausted from just the attempt than I would be from a 6 hour sexathon.

    But that’s the literal sense of a nap. I try not to over think your blog topics but I know this one was aimed somewhat at BB Floaters. I never seem to realize someone is making the attempt to float.

    Andy for instance, to me is playing the game with gusto and following along with what he said he would do in his pre-show interview. Andy makes sure he is in the know about how each HoH wants to go about their plan to evict the HG they are after. By staying close to the action and helping if asked he is keeping himself safe. Pretty smart to me.

    But I have never truly believed there is a floater in the game of BB. I tend to look at the ones that fail are just bad players who came into the game with no clear cut strategy and failed to develop one as the weeks went by.

    None of this is probably on topic. I feel the need for a nap. Now.

  • MarluvsBB on July 17, 2013 at 6:26 pm said:


    Yeah, I remember nap time because I could never fall asleep. I hated it because I thought it was such a waste of time. To this day, falling asleep isn’t easy for me.

    I love the way Andy is playing his game.

    • Jun Song on July 17, 2013 at 7:54 pm said:


      Andy’s holding his own, although I know there are anit-Andy fans out there. To each his or her own!

      OMG I love sleep ad sleep loves me. I guess I’m lucky but I never take it for granted. I know so many people like you who have a hard time falling asleep!

  • I don’t understand this antipathy people have towards “floaters” in the BB House.I understand a floater to mean an hg that goes from one HOH (power source) to another with true ass kissing capabilities. I think it takes great skill to be an ass kisser. There are smart ass kissers and dim-witted ass kissers in life but they both have a seat in the CEO/HOH/Power office.and that’s what counts..Can you trust them?:No Way! but neither can you trust anybody in there so what’s the problem.All in all, the floater has more information than the plebs and information is power.I think Andy is a relatively smart ass kisser who is keeping safe and actively earning his stipend.
    P.S. Ass kissing to me is not a pejorative term. Being able to effectively dialogue with the new HOH (someone who you may likely loathe or disrepect) takes skill and cajones.

    Thanks Best Napper for another good read.

  • I am creeping up on 67 and yet i remember nap. and wearing a new red plaid dress and not wanting to lay on the floor in it. could i sit at the table and just put my head down for that half hour. and she let me.

    I am a floater in life. I hail them and honor them. it takes great skill at sneaking around to stay out of trouble so nobody hates you enough to get rid of you. Floating takes finess. Floating takes the utmost tact.

    and I cant spell today. horrid news at dentist office. cant float there…

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