I’m turning 38 years old tomorrow. This is the first birthday card I’ve received pre-birthday, from a girlfriend in Michigan. She made the blonde on the card a brunette with black pen, just for me. I don’t know if I can pull off such a dress, but I can certainly hold a cosmo and clutch.
This year I’ll turn another year older thinking back to 10 years ago to when I turned twenty-eight, in the Big Brother house. There’s nothing quite like spending your birthday in a house full of people who want to take your half-a-million dollars away from you, at the end of the day even on your birthday. I wouldn’t trade that birthday year though, because I’m still learning so much about myself as a result of my summer of Big Brother 4. On the eve of my 38th birthday I know I’ll be spending tomorrow in a house full of Davy and Noah, who are worth more than half-a-million dollars. I’ll be tuning in with you to see who loses their claim to $500,000 tonight, on Big Brother 15.
This question from Robert, guest blogger in “A Letter”, made me stop and think awhile because I couldn’t come up with a spur of the Twitter moment answer per usual. Then I realized it’s the things you do that won’t win you the game, that you should be least proud of. Things done out of pure spite and intent to hurt…for in those moments the worst in you comes lashing out.
I’ve touched upon this in my blog about my hateful moments in the house, “Crazy Mommy”, and how I see now that I could have been a “better” Korean in some ways in “Another Korean on Big Brother”. I can also admit how happy I was that half the house couldn’t eat any of my birthday cake because they were on PB&J. That’s the spiteful bitch I was and can be still.
However, everything else I did in the house from baiting Ali and Nathan into fighting with The 3 Stooges and turning on Jack evicting him? I am proud of. I’m proud of letting Dana dig her own grave while she was up on the block with me, because although I loved her as a person she was collateral damage to me in the game. I’m proud of the role I played in getting Scott riled up and expelled from the game. The game.
I don’t get all the crying when people are evicted. Your alliance member got evicted? Would you rather it be you? No? Then stop crying.
This is why I wish Helen wouldn’t use tears to get her work done. It would be a cleaner game and more snot-free sanitary for the Big Brother 15 house. Crying women bring us back a few decades, and I abhor it as a tactic in life and inside BB. It’s a game though, so she can cry.
It’s those things that are NOT about the game that make us question ourselves, as we watch Houseguests once strangers to us, because we all say we “wouldn’t act a certain way if I was on the show.” You never know until you’re on the show. Sorry.
So no matter what…each HG deserves a shot at redemption post-show, and it should start with some silent reflecting. Wait, did I just sound like a mom right there? I don’t want to go all Helen on you…