It’s high time I dedicate 408 words to Candice’s Earrings. Candice Stewart who’s been accused of sitting on hats, and worse if you can believe it, this will always be slayer of earrings to me.
Wikipedia tells us that “Ear piercing is one of the oldest known forms of body modification, with artistic and written references from cultures around the world dating back to early history.”
Wikipedia also gives us seven “modern” forms of earrings, but Candice wears only one form.
“Dangle earrings – Dangle earrings are designed to flow from the bottoms of the earlobes, and are available in various lengths from a centimeter or two, all the way to brushing the shoulders…”
I know I have to be missing a few or ten other pairs of earrings that Candice managed to fit in her suitcase when packing for Big Brother 15…please do send them in to me if you have screenshots.
Let’s all take a minute to think about Candice and her ears though, because I can think of so many scenarios where she’d come in handy.
– I’d have loved to have her around six months ago so I could hang Noah’s pacifiers and bibs to Candice’s ears. There’s never a bib or pacifier around when you need one when you’re juggling a dozen other mommy things!
– I’d love to have her around when I’m decorating my Christmas tree so Davy and I could form an assembly line using Candice’s ears to hang extra ornaments on. If you don’t have an extra set of hands no worries because Candice’s ears can hold stuff!
– I’d love to have her around when I’m frying vegetable tempura because I could just lay paper towels around Candice’s feet and hang my pieces of tempura on her ears drip-dry the oil out of them. Less oil less fat for us!
– Candice’s ears could also dangle convenient little things things like keys to handcuffs during sex, because don’t we always misplace them at some point?!
I hope you’ll share some of your uses for Candice’s ears with me because I know you all have some thoughts on this! Personally, I’d like to know what Candice left behind to fit all her earrings into the two bags she’s allowed to pack for the house. I’d also like to know how she was allowed to bring some of those deadly weapons into the house considering I was barely allowed my cuticle cutter.
If Candice does end up going this week I hope she “keys” GinaMarie’s photo of Nick with one of her earrings.
I kid…I kid…I can hope…