Jun Dishes

verb/diSH/ : food or sex or gossip or fiction in real life

Not The Shittiest Neighbors Examples

When the landlady died two years ago Davy and I worried if we’d end up having to move out, after just having moved in to our house. Then we felt horrible thinking about that considering our landlady had just passed away. I’d just gone off the pill, because Davy and I were trying for a baby. I was hormonal and extra-dramatic, and I knew it.

I’d wondered if there was now bad juju next door while I was trying to get my sex on, for baby-making.

We needn’t worry because I actually got pregnant that same month, and the entire property got passed on to our deceased landlord’s brother. Luc. He made renovations to our home, and the house attached to ours. He’s not the shittiest landlord and we’re lucky, and his bright white hair is truly something to behold.

Six months into my pregnancy, and with all the renovations finished to the empty ghost house attached to ours, new neighbors came in. New neighbors with whom we’d share walls of our house with, another couple but older than us. Goodbye loud porn all night and fucking up against any wall we wanted to, anymore. We’d wondered if they knew about the former landlady dying in the house.

It turns out Davy knew the new the guy moving in with his girlfriend, by a few degrees of separation, so he asked him. It turned out they were informed that the former landlord had died in the house, in the toilet, and they moved right in. Right away they fought a lot. They fight a lot now.

We only know they’re ever home because they fight so much. When they go on vacation, in between fighting, they ask us to feed their fish and in return they bring us back a bottle of good wine. They’re not the best neighbors, but they’re not the shittiest. They drink too much and turn up the stereo with old Belgian love songs and sing until they drink enough to fight, and then pass out. Lovely.

We had our Noah the next year and brought him home to this house, and his bedroom turned out just how I’d picture it since the first time I saw it.

Room

 

Before we moved in, the space had been used for tanning and storage and not the sun and blue sky. I saw the potential in my control freaked brain, and I was very specific, and very Momzilla, about every detail in Noah’s room. His full wall of floor-to-ceiling windows faces Shrek’s house, so we don’t often leave the drapes wide open. We have sheer panels to let the sun in and to keep the Shrek out. And Noah’s room is furthest from the walls through which you can hear our fighting neighbors through.

So I have some shitty neighbors, and not the shittiest neighbors, and not the shittiest landlord. Even Shrek, who was temporarily more of a Fiona when Noah was born, returned to being horrid Shrek once again once. Dramatics aside, I can live with it for now but we’re totally going to move in the next year. I want to be able to have sex in my own garden and roll around in my grass naked if I get really drunk or elated on substances, on any given Saturday night.

I don’t want to share walls anymore!

Always dishing,

Jun

Posted under: Reality Dishes

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13 comments

  • Don’t blame you one bit! After living in an apartment building with walls and floors always being listened to, I can tell you there is NOTHING like being able to “do you own thing, to the beat of your own drummer!!” in your OWN space :)

    Good luck in your search for a new home!

  • The drunken fighters sound much less awful than Shrek. Then again, I am kind of immune to drunk folks: I live in a gite (that was SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN TEMPORARY) and our “neighbors” are constantly changing groups of vacationers, mostly from England, Ireland, and Scotland. The English seem to drink the most. But they’re pretty peaceful about it.

  • Do people buy houses there like they do here in the US? I have in most european countries most people rent there entire lives. But here in the US everybody wants to buy. I have being a home owner, keeping up with the Jones, etc. I wish if I had a problem I could call up the landlady and tell them to fix it instead of doing is myself. Do you’ll have any intentions of buying ever?

  • Jmantyger on August 17, 2013 at 4:09 pm said:

    Reply

    Good luck on the search! Y’all will love the privacy. Noah will love the adventures awaiting. I grew up ‘in the country’ and have decided I am going back. I live in town now, but I have purchased a good bit of land about 30 minutes from here. Once the girls are at college, I’ll sell this place, build the house I’ve always wanted and move back to the country-if 20 minutes from town can actually be called the country. If I did it now, I would have cows and pigs and horses as pets for 30 years as nieces would never let me get rid of them. Plus, if me and the ‘milkmaid’ are nekkid in the front yard, we’ll hear folks coming in plenty of time to become presentable… :-)

  • Happy house hunting!! Contact HGTV to see if you can be on House Hunters International. They’ve done a few shows from Belgium and even one in Ghent!

  • vivien howe on August 17, 2013 at 6:26 pm said:

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    Good luck finding that home. Prolly a barn in the country. I kid. Most houses are attached. Problemo and as far as running around nekked and having sex and such, isn’t that acceptable with those stinky europeans

  • I don’t blame you at all. You should be able to have privacy in your own backyard and you shouldn’t have to worry that some crazy bitch is going to threaten to “wage war” against your family. You’ll love the privacy of a new home. Happy house hunting!

  • I used to laugh at the first place Kiernan and I lived in because we could hear the guy next door’s answering machine. He never returned his block buster movies on time. lol Years ago obviously but it was our first apt and we were young and in love. We knew he could hear us too when he casually asked if we enjoyed our bath last night. (So embarrassed) There used to be a web site bad neighbors I think..I used it when we bought our house. It’s gone now but I bet there are others like it. It listed that across the street was a dog that barks all the time. Sorta true. It barks when they let it out but he is inside a lot. Also, check out, sadly, if they have registered sex offenders in your area. Just don’t rush in. We did with our first house. Second house is my love.

  • Hope you find the perfect house soon with neighbors that will be friends for life. Love Noah’s room, especially the floor-to-ceiling windows. Windows like that would be perfect for a garden view and happy scenes for Noah.

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