I didn’t go on Big Brother for fame or to pursue acting. I just wanted to win and bring home $500,000 and say I did it. I got fat because instead of working 9 to 5, like I would have been at my job, I ate. Then I munched at night. I ate and stress ate and then ate some more while running the kitchen ALL summer. CBS kindly aired a montage of my weight gain, and if I was a producer I’d have done the same thing. I’m not embarrassed about it all as much as I’m reminded that reality television looks frivolous from the outside, but on the inside shit gets real. I’ve touched on this before.
I gained weight. A lot of weight. I won the whole season, at least 15-20 pounds heavier than I was when I entered the house. I was contacted by radio stations, including Howard Stern, the day after I’d left the Big Brother house. I was asked if I’d eat a tub of ice cream live on-air as the fat chick who won Big Brother. Needless to say I declined, and 10 years later I’m glad I did. I went back home to New York and I eventually lost all the weight again sometimes crash dieting towards the end. Not good.
I’m not the only BB alum eater or porker, and there will always be the fans (including Evel Dick…you know who I’m talking about Dick!) who never let some of us forget.
I’m bring this all up today because I had to watch some of my Big Brother 4 footage when Fans of Flanders was at my home filming the other day, and I cringed looking at my thighs and belly. It was a part of my summer. If I’d ended up going back for All-Stars I probably would have gained weight again.
Having chosen to put myself on television and continuing to keep myself visible to the public now means from time to time I find weird stuff about me on the internet. I’ve had rant blogs dedicated to my me and my early death and all forms of written threats. Since cutting most Big Brother blogging and tweeting out of my life (link to my interview with Buzzfeed), especially after this last season of Big Brother (link to my interview with The Daily Beast), the BB catladies have remained quiet and the hate has died down (it works!) but I know they remain out there watching and waiting…
So I decided to Google “jun song big brother weight gain” for the purposes of finding a fat photo of me in the BB house, and stumbled upon this gem…
A choppy creepy photo montage of my life up until Noah’s birth.
I find myself unable to write after watching that, and you too are probably unable to put into words where this blog just went.
Let’s discuss this video and its existence…