My Dad and Deutsche Bank

When I bought a condo in Midtown Manhattan with my Big Brother winnings, it was because my dad told me to. He was dying and he knew it. I knew it too. He needed new kidneys, like, yesterday. I’d thought about it investing the money in other things but my dad insisted it be real estate. It’s like when I returned to work after winning Big Brother. I accepted an offer from Deutsche Bank and got back to banking. I did it mostly because my dad wanted to see me gainfully employed once again. All he knew about Deutsche Bank was that it was “German” but it was good enough for him.

My dad just wanted to make sure I was okay before he died. I didn’t think twice about giving my dad what he wanted because I didn’t care about money anyway. I was about to lose my dad and I just wanted to do whatever it took to put his mind at ease while his body was never at ease.

The thing is, my dad never really insisted I do anything when I was growing up. He was so open to my zany ideas and frequent whims. He was my biggest cheerleader when I entered contests and memorized lines for plays. As soon as I could play songs from the church hymnal on the piano, my dad stood next to me and sang along in his very deep voice. My dad gave me such freedom of expression and drive that he never had to insist I do any more than I was already doing.

He believed in me in a way only a father could believe in his child…

I was one week into that new job when my dad died. I was one of three portfolio assistants on my team and I was just getting to know the 80+ private investment accounts I was helping manage for some of the wealthiest families in America. I remember getting ready for work that morning and getting the call from my aunt that my dad passed in his sleep in the ICU. Okay I’ll be there soon is all I said, before hanging up the telephone to call my new brand-new boss. Memories of the days following my dad’s funeral are blurry in some spots and crystal clear in others, but I’ll never forget how my boss (and the whole team at work) proved to be compassionate and understanding of my loss. Deutsche Bank was a pivotal point in my life’s timeline.

All these years later I’ve learned many lessons the fast and hard way. Among them…

I know now that you should never take a job because of someone else, even if it’s your dying dad who’s the someone else. I got no real joy working at Deutsche Bank but I stuck it out for a good while. In the end my heart wasn’t in it and I left for another investment firm that was a better match. I realize now that leaving Deutsche Bank was probably what my dad would have wanted for me anyway, if I wasn’t happy there…

I treasure everything my father instilled in me because it’s what drives me still.

Always dishing,

Jun

16 Comments

  1. I miss my dad so much. He didn’t realize how much he would miss out on by taking his life. He wouldn’t even know me anymore. Things have changed so much. If he could have made it out of his misery and hung on… Ugh. Not going to vent, I just miss my dad too. He was the smartest man I knew, and the one I looked up to. Daddy’s girl forever. <3

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    1. Bless you, Spicy Carrie. It has to be very upsetting, because his loss must seem so senseless. I don’t know how long your Dad has been gone, but my heart goes out to you. Mine’s been gone almost a year, now, and it’s been sad. I placed a Christmas tree on his grave today, and my poor mom didn’t even realize the significance of what we did (dementia).

      Reply
  2. Mike Funkhowser

    Lurk and follow you from Jokers. What a heartfelt story. Your dad was a great parent, something we should all aspire to, especially when raising girls. Godspeed.

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  3. Karenra

    Dads! As much as I loved my mom..it was my dad who taught me things. .love..compassion..work ethics..right bfore my wedding..he said two things. .never get fat..and always ask ur husband how his day went..and everyday I do..for 26 yrs…nice blog..thanks for sharing.

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  4. I loved my mama dearly but I, too, was a daddy’s girl. 12/1 brings back his unexpected passing over 30 years ago. The memory of the shock and grief of those days lead me to why I miss him so. True unconditional love, guidance, humor and love of life. Amazing human being.

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  5. Carie Mahoner

    My Dad died when I was seven; I’m 61 now (well, a 31 year old living in a 61 year old body :-D) and miss him as much today as I did when I realized he was never coming home again. If I’d been born into the world of “A Game of Thrones”, my surname would have been Snow, River or Stone… or some such, *but* during that seven years I was made to believe I sat atop the world! I’ll always treasure him for that!!! No harm in being a Daddy’s Girl. 😉

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  6. Pat

    This is a wonderful tribute to your dad. I soooo wish I could write like you! I lost my dad 6 years ago. I still think he died of a broken heart…he missed my mother so much after she passed the year before. I too was a daddy’s girl..and damn proud of it. I am always so sad this time of year, even after all this time. So it’s not surprising that I cried through your tribute, but I thank you, I must have needed that.
    I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas and a blessed 2014.
    Much love,
    Pat

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  7. I didn’t have my father in my life growing up and still don’t, but I lost my mom a year a half ago and she might of well have been my dad as well. She was everything to me. She had very masculine qualities and was very smart and as you said, believed in you as no other could and excepted your freedom of expression which is the greatest gift and I’m so thankful my mother was that way. Because they only want us to be happy.

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  8. Your stories about your Dad always touch my heart. I had two two Dads. One was my Daddy (he adopted me) and one was my Father (my birth father). I learned the most from my Daddy. Long walks and drives, and late night chats. I learned how to forgive because of my birth father. He was a good man who managed to survive some pretty hard knocks in life, and because of them made some bad life decisions. I always knew who he was, but I only got to “know” him as an adult. I love and miss them both dearly.

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