For fun this morning, I read an article on Nerve called “Some Wildly Innacurate Sexual Stereotypes Based on Which Country Your Lover Is From” mostly because OneChicklette told me to. But I’m easily amused by all articles revolving around sex anyway, especially ones around stereotypes.
The article started out with this quote, collected from Reddit in the first place:
“People often switch to their native language at the moment of climax.”
I can’t speak for all people and I’m not bragging, but I have actually watched a lot of men come live in real life because of:
- my healthy sexual appetite, and
Had I never run a body rub business I’d still have a large sampling enough of international penis to make educated guesses and generalizations. I can say that men, no matter their sexuality, climax in the language of Grunt. I don’t know the intricacies of what sex is like in the small bush tribes of Africa, but I know everyone grunts. That’s the native language of sex, grunting to various degrees
As for the rest of the inaccuracies and broad generalizations? There are questions of size and girth and circumcision and pubic hair, but there’s no way I could responsibly make sweeping suggestions about men and sex and geography. Just like having sex with me isn’t representative of what sex is like with all Korean or Korean-American women. Hell no. I’m special.
Or just like I’ll ignore people who ask if my “Korean vagina is slit sideways horizontally and not vertically like Western vaginas,” or ask if I’m “submissive and docile in bed because Asian women are known for being passive not dominant,” or if I’m “tighter” because I’m Korean. I’ve refrained from ever dressing-up like a little Japanese school girl come Halloween simply because if I do then “they” win.
Asian stereotypes are all the rage.
The article goes on to say, “No one culture can be reduced to a sex act, and no one partner speaks to a whole nation, but, man, we do have our habits.”
I agree 100%, however, I will share some personal and business experiences in my sex life:
- I have run into enough black men with small penises to know that not all black men are hung like horses. I tried to tell my mother about this but she insists she doesn’t need to know about penises anymore after my dad died years ago. His was the one and only penis in my mother’s life. So sweet.
- I’ve never personally been in the presence of an Indian man with a large penis but I have seen very small ones.
- I once had a German boyfriend who asked me if I wanted to have sex with him and his German guy friend in front of his German guy friend, with no warning or prior mention of possible future additional sex partners. I actually told my mother about this and she now thinks all German men want to have sex with their girlfriends and guy friends together. (This German boyfriend also liked scratching me a lot during sex. Not enough to draw blood but just scratch scratch scratch the entire time)
- I once dated a Jewish guy who stuck his thumb up my butt the very first time we had sex, while he was taking me from behind doggy-style, with no warning or prior mention of possible butt-love. I told my mother about this one too and she now thinks that bald Jewish guys are all obsessed with buttholes.
- I slept with a Croatian guy once and he sweat so much I had to insist we move the sex into the bathroom right in the shower and kill two birds with one stone. My mother didn’t get to hear about this one because she thinks I only went to Croatia for the nature parks.
- I had a French fuck buddy for a while and he liked it when I crushed his limp or erect penis and balls with my feet during sex and it took a lot of flexibility and acrobatics on my part sometimes. I ran into him years later, in Paris, with another Korean girl on his arm, and all I remember is wondering if she gave him the same play…
- I once had a guy from Spain who’s limp penis was so cold I couldn’t bring myself to arouse him because it felt like an icicle in my hands. I told my mother about this one and she now thinks men from Spain have bad circulation problems.
- I once almost had sex with this one Chinese guy but his erect penis was so alarmingly small that I just couldn’t. I felt horrible, but I’m not a mercy fucker. I’d rather get up and leave than have sex with someone because I think I have to, or it’s owed to someone.
- I’ve had sex with all kinds of Americans, from the boy-next-door who cared about my orgasm before his to those who wagered real bets using sexual favors or those who only cared about body-building and took so many steroids that their sperm was more like water than jizz.
Then there’s the Italian guy who loved getting bit all over his body to the point of having visible bite marks the next day…
I really could go on but I’ll stop there. It doesn’t matter. They’re just stories even in real life. No stereotypes unless you’re my mother.
Thankfully I’m not my mother, and neither should you be when it comes to sex and sexual stereotypes. Discard them. Sex is like music in its language.
I don’t recommend everyone partake in such a large sampling as I have but I do recommend keeping your mind and sexuality open, married or not. I happen to be married to a Belgian man. I can confirm that he does not climax in Dutch but in Grunt.