Jun Dishes

verb/diSH/ : food or sex or gossip or fiction in real life

Behcheeluh Show: It Wasn’t Octopus!

Behcheeluh Show!

That’s how Korean moms refer to The Bachelor. At least it’s how my mom refers to it and pronounces it, and she’s pretty much the most Korean mom ever. It will always be Behcheeluh Show to her, so screw the prepositions.

I’m going to get it out of the way and say that I’m jealous that Juan Pablo and his bachelorettes got to travel to South Korea, my motherland. They went to Seoul, my birthplace. All jokes aside, I loved that ABC went to Korea. Korea is indeed majestic and modern and I can’t wait to experience it myself with my own family.

Maybe it’s a good thing that people like Clare and other idiots got to see Seoul. Maybe not. Still, listening to Juan Pablo tell me that there’s a lot of history in Korea made me want to throw my coffee at my Mac. I don’t waste coffee though, or Macs.

When I called Clare an idiot it’s because she despaired, “I don’t even have a kimono!” when she was told ABC was taking her to South Korea.

Why would you need a kimono Clare?! Korean people don’t wear kimonos Clare! Did you want to be a Japanese geisha in Korea Clare?!  

Clare needs some Korea 101:

Hanbok: For the record, the traditional Korean garb is called the hanbok, not kimono. ABC gave us some footage of the garment market in Seoul where they sold children’s hanbok. You can see one come-to-life in my little Noah in his hanbok on his first birthday, last year:

NoahAgeOne

Other bachelorettes actually got to dress up like kiddie cake decorations (because that’s what K-pop is, essentially) to be back-up dancers for K-pop group 2NE1.

And by the way, 2NE1 is supposed to be pronounced like “21” but it’s not a coincidence that it sounds like “to anyone” when you read it out.

Koreans love that stuff.

K-pop: I’m not a K-popaholic but I know many people who are, Korean or not Korean. It’s like Justin Bieber in Japanimation. I’ve never gotten into it but I did have one Korean ex-boyfriend who used to be in a guys K-pop group for one summer. They sucked.

The young ladies comprising 2NE1 are new to me, and I can’t even tell what they look like in real life under all the makeup, coloring, eyelash glue and plastic surgery. That’s how you know it’s a girls K-pop group.

2NE1

Most viewers probably noticed that CL (unicorn on her chest in the photo), the voice of 2NE1, spoke English very well. It’s because she and the rest of her K-pop idols are Korean by birth but have led very traveled and versatile lives. There are even Korean-American artists leaving the States and finding fame and recognition in Korean pop music and beyond!

Korean Food: And then I laughed so hard listening to the old Korean ladies speaking in the ABC footage, and the overall body language in mannerisms and facial expressions that define the Korean people….aloof but friendly. And I drooled over the street food Juan Pablo tasted in the streets of Seoul. Here’s Juan Pablo pretending to be happy to drink fishcake soup:

FirstFoodCart

Then there were the infinite number of Korean side dishes, banchan, that made my mouth water:

BanchanKimchiSquid

Notice, how I labeled the big bowl on the right “Spicy Marinated Squid” and not “Octopus” because ABC lied to us. They wanted us to go along with Clare’s “I’ll never eat octopus!” drama, but it was squid.

I confirmed with my momz.

I wonder if Clare would have still thrown up in her mouth had she known it was squid and not octopus.

Yo-geuh-rueh-teuh

And I hate that Sharleen pretended she’d just had a shot of semen and not some tasty fruity yogurt drink.

The drama with these girls!

When I visit Korea I will spend all my money on street food and cursing the Behcheeluh Show. It will be glorious.

~

Oh, and here are the bachelorettes remaining:

Eleven

They’re all screwed.

See you next week!

Always dishing,

Jun

Posted under: Reality TV Dishes, The Bachelor / ette

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17 comments

  • Alas, it looks like I will never be able to eat Korean street food! I cannot stand hot and spicy food! Is there any food that’s NOT spicy in Korea????

  • Anonymous on January 29, 2014 at 8:51 pm said:

    Reply

    Missed the episode, but love your blog about it! I have eaten some of the foods and loved it, a little spicy so antacid is a must for me!

  • Omg you are so funny.
    Just some of my take on the episode and your comments on the episode and just on South Korea culture history …fascinating.
    South Korea: I don’t think I’ve seen many pictures of South Korea or tv on South Korea. I hope that changes. It struck me instantly as Vibrant. And, it is important to see that because my picture of Korea is North Korea only. More documentaries on S Korea!!!

    Clare: yes she would have had the same reaction, assuming she knew what squid was. Now maybe if they said Korean Calamari she would have felt more comfortable … but probable not. She annoys me … I though she might sit in between JP and the other girl and squish until they let her. Too bad other girl got up and ceded her position to clingy Clare.

    Banchan: I learned the name for all those side dishes when you made a soup and platter of side dishes was that when Momz was there for Noah’s first birthday? Anyway, I went to a big Asian market in Westchester and got a whole collection of pickled Banchan. They came in plastic bags and were in the cooler section. And I made the soup with tofu and noodles …. So good .. I had learned to make really spicy kimchi years back from a lovely lady in my neighborhood. I had some of her kimchi and loved it. But it takes so long … So I loved when your made it when she visited. May have to make it again.. Getting hungry.

    So that’s enough random ruminations …always love your blogs …

    • It’s old and new. I hope to get there and take my momz with me when I visit Seoul :)

      Hahaha. Clare’s an idiot. I’m sure she’s a nice person in general but omg the drama!

      I love that you’ve had banchan in your fridge. So yummy!

      I have to make some kimchi…but it’s a process and yes it takes so long! Sigh…

      • I’ve made a number of your recipes … In particular and repeatedly your ginger chicken soup ..I had had pickled “stuff” when my father was alive and we’d go to a Korean restaurant in the area of 56th and 5th and 6th. And there was one a deep red maroon color sort of sweet and I couldn’t get it out of my mind …. And then after you wrote about the feast for Noah’s birthday I scoured the Asian markets and found several I now just keep replacing … Of course I don’t really know what they are since there is no English translation but they are so good. Have you to thank for that

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