That’s how Korean moms refer to The Bachelor. At least it’s how my mom refers to it and pronounces it, and she’s pretty much the most Korean mom ever. It will always be Behcheeluh Show to her, so screw the prepositions.
I’m going to get it out of the way and say that I’m jealous that Juan Pablo and his bachelorettes got to travel to South Korea, my motherland. They went to Seoul, my birthplace. All jokes aside, I loved that ABC went to Korea. Korea is indeed majestic and modern and I can’t wait to experience it myself with my own family.
Maybe it’s a good thing that people like Clare and other idiots got to see Seoul. Maybe not. Still, listening to Juan Pablo tell me that there’s a lot of history in Korea made me want to throw my coffee at my Mac. I don’t waste coffee though, or Macs.
When I called Clare an idiot it’s because she despaired, “I don’t even have a kimono!” when she was told ABC was taking her to South Korea.
Why would you need a kimono Clare?! Korean people don’t wear kimonos Clare! Did you want to be a Japanese geisha in Korea Clare?!
Clare needs some Korea 101:
Hanbok: For the record, the traditional Korean garb is called the hanbok, not kimono. ABC gave us some footage of the garment market in Seoul where they sold children’s hanbok. You can see one come-to-life in my little Noah in his hanbok on his first birthday, last year:
Other bachelorettes actually got to dress up like kiddie cake decorations (because that’s what K-pop is, essentially) to be back-up dancers for K-pop group 2NE1.
And by the way, 2NE1 is supposed to be pronounced like “21” but it’s not a coincidence that it sounds like “to anyone” when you read it out.
Koreans love that stuff.
K-pop: I’m not a K-popaholic but I know many people who are, Korean or not Korean. It’s like Justin Bieber in Japanimation. I’ve never gotten into it but I did have one Korean ex-boyfriend who used to be in a guys K-pop group for one summer. They sucked.
The young ladies comprising 2NE1 are new to me, and I can’t even tell what they look like in real life under all the makeup, coloring, eyelash glue and plastic surgery. That’s how you know it’s a girls K-pop group.
Most viewers probably noticed that CL (unicorn on her chest in the photo), the voice of 2NE1, spoke English very well. It’s because she and the rest of her K-pop idols are Korean by birth but have led very traveled and versatile lives. There are even Korean-American artists leaving the States and finding fame and recognition in Korean pop music and beyond!
Korean Food: And then I laughed so hard listening to the old Korean ladies speaking in the ABC footage, and the overall body language in mannerisms and facial expressions that define the Korean people….aloof but friendly. And I drooled over the street food Juan Pablo tasted in the streets of Seoul. Here’s Juan Pablo pretending to be happy to drink fishcake soup:
Then there were the infinite number of Korean side dishes, banchan, that made my mouth water:
Notice, how I labeled the big bowl on the right “Spicy Marinated Squid” and not “Octopus” because ABC lied to us. They wanted us to go along with Clare’s “I’ll never eat octopus!” drama, but it was squid.
I confirmed with my momz.
I wonder if Clare would have still thrown up in her mouth had she known it was squid and not octopus.
And I hate that Sharleen pretended she’d just had a shot of semen and not some tasty fruity yogurt drink.
The drama with these girls!
When I visit Korea I will spend all my money on street food and cursing the Behcheeluh Show. It will be glorious.
Oh, and here are the bachelorettes remaining:
They’re all screwed.
See you next week!