I Have These Two Moles On My Face

I have these two moles on my face, one on each cheek close to my cheekbones. They’re not symmetrical but they’re prominent and my family’s always hated them. When I say my family I mean my insanely archaic Korean elders. My brother and cousins will agree with me on this one, and they too know about the attempts to make me have my moles removed.

Here are two clear photos of the moles in question, and I swear it’s just a coincidence as to the circumstances:

Eclair Banana

The thing is I never called them moles growing up. I always called them “my beauty marks.” Somewhere along the way I succumbed to calling them moles, but I never did fold to the pressure from my family to have them burned off my face. My youngest aunt did have it done, and to this day she has little scar-dents in the places where her moles once stood! And for what? Old wives’ tales, superstitions, and skin-deep beauty in the eyes of the Korean community? They told her that removing her moles would raise her chances of getting married. Um, no.

So I overheard from a very young age that if my moles ever got too big, then “something” would have to be done about them. I never felt threatened and it’s not like it was ever said in a cruel way, but just very as a matter of fact-ly. It was always the women in my family talking about it, because Korean men never get involved in female aesthetics. But when I was a child, I always wondered what “too big” meant. I worried that my moles would grow so big and take over my face one day.

But then I started to really like my moles. They made me look different and so I felt different, in a good way. I remember clearly the day I attended my first art class in elementary school. I couldn’t draw or paint for shit, and I still can’t, but that first day I was given a canvas of paper and some poster paint with a brush. I drew my face and nothing else. My eyes and nose and lips and ears and my two moles, is all I presented. I didn’t even think twice as to what I’d paint, like my classmates all wrestled with. It was instinctual. And I made my moles way bigger than they were in real life. Looking back that first piece of art for me meant more than I ever realized, and I wish I knew where it was.

As I got older I overheard less and was just told more that my moles were getting “too big.” I ignored these people. I’d never get married and Korean men, and their mothers, wouldn’t like my face because of my moles, I was told. But all the women in my family had moles on their faces too and it annoyed me as I got older. They’re my moles! I like them! I became protective of my moles and started wearing more SPF.

But I started to question and balk at other things too and I know now after learning about my family’s rich history on two continents, now three, that my mother was the same way growing up. I am truly my mother’s daughter. She was a rebel in her time, and I use that term loosely because it doesn’t take much to get yourself ostracized in Little Koreas. But it’s why my mother got to marry for love and not for money. It’s why she tried to squelch me as I got older, while my father encouraged me to spread my wings and try to fly wherever I wanted.

My dad never really got involved except to play parrot messenger once, between my mother and me. She and I stopped talking to each other for a period of time, after getting into a fight about the whole mole drama.

“Your mother thinks you should think about getting your juhmΒ removed, but you don’t have to, ” my dad said to me on behalf of my mother.

“She doesn’t want to get her juhmΒ removed, so don’t ask her anymore,” he said to my mother, for me.

And all these years later, I still have my moles. Now that I’m “finally” married with a kid, according to my mother, I don’t have to do a thing about my moles. Right. Because I was going to do a thing about them anyway.

I really like my moles!

Always dishing,

Jun

29 Comments

  1. Della Gordon

    I used to not like my dimples on my face, everyone said how cute!! But I hated them, until my first son was born with them…and then my second! But, now i have freckles turning to moles…ah self acceptance and love!

    Reply
  2. Becky

    They are nice moles! I have a massive one on the right side of my face! Got called some awful names at school, shit face being one of them haha. I forget it’s there but I’m a very moley being!

    Reply
  3. Amy

    I have a large mole on my left cheek—my family always called it my beauty mark! My Grandmother had one in the same spot so it made me feel closer to her. Even after she is gone she is still with me.

    Reply
  4. I love your “beauty marks” ’cause that’s what they are and I stick by that! I have a beauty mark on my cheek and had always been told that even Elizabeth Taylor and Cindy Crawford were known for their marks/moles, ok, so they’re moles, and if good enough for them, then I should wear mine proudly! I ever penciled it darker for a brief teen time. While I wanted mine removed over the years, my parents did not…it’s a beauty mark they cried! Therefore, it sill sits on my cheek, and now that my parents are no longer on earth, I have fond memories of our “beauty mark” talks!

    Reply
    1. Jun Song Author

      Totally! I don’t know why I all of a sudden started calling them moles.

      That’s hilarious that you penciled in bigger moles. I like your beauty! I’ve actually noticed it before. I think beauty marks are pretty cool too πŸ™‚

      Reply
  5. I have two moles on my face too. one on my upper lip and one in the dent where chin starts. As a young growing girl I wanted them off so much but was told that if they took them off and one was cancer they would have to cut off a big chunk of my face. so they stayed.
    most of the time i dont think about them but recently my doctor decided that i should have them off.and he bugged me and bugged me. and I balked at the idea. they are me and I just no longer wanted them off. I did go to the skin doctor and had my body examined for possible skin cancers as I used to tan to leather as a kid in southern calif. they saw one tiny place on my nose which in the end wasnt cancer. and I talked to her about the moles. I didnt have them off and when my gp asked me why I said. I cant get rid of something that has been me for all these years. I would look different but would I really look better. Im not gong to ever know.

    Reply
  6. I just came across your blog and I have two symmetrical beauty marks on my face too and i’ve been told theyre weird, some people like them and now they have grown on me took forever though, but I have never seen anyone else with anything similiar and you’re the only one that I’ve seen that I feel relatable to I’m not sure if it has anything to do with ethnicity because I am mixed with korean. you can see it on my instagram https://www.instagram.com/cyberniquedoll/ but really appreciate your post.
    you are really pretty!

    Reply

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