Jun Dishes

verb/diSH/ : food or sex or gossip or fiction in real life

Hunts Point

My dad always worked with his hands. He never worked a day sitting behind a desk when he was living in America. That’s what he always wanted for me, to be a part of the corporate workforce, but he was always a laborer.

He and my mother owned a stereotypical fruit and vegetable store, and then later sold the family business so my mother could stay home with me aka spy on me over-protectively. My dad was quickly hired in the wholesale industry at Hunts Point Market in the Bronx where he was a foreman. He was then the only Korean foreman in a world where older generations of Italian and Jewish men ranked highest, and owned the terminals their family names were branded on. My dad had balls of steel and he never let English being his second language stop him from anything, least of all becoming a Teamster.

He learned Spanish too while adjusting to immigrant life in Lower Manhattan, and when he switched from being a business owner to being someone’s employee, it was a shift for our entire family. The trucks coming in to the NYC Produce Terminal Market in Hunts Point mostly came in at night, when most of the city was trying to sleep in a city that never did.

So my dad reversed his biological clock and switched to nights. My mother bore the brunt, no longer having him to share a bed with at night. After my dad got home from work in the mornings, he’d shower and eat breakfast with my brother Danny and my mom and me. He’d sleep while Danny and I were at school. I guess that’s when my parents got their sex in too, because I never once in my life heard them having actual sex when I was ever home. Danny will confirm the same.

I did find my parents’ stash of porn at some point and I knew they did that stuff together, because I asked my momz as an adult, but I never actually heard my parents having sex growing up. I count it as a blessing.

And by the time my brother and I got home from school, my dad was out of hibernation and an active part of our afternoon and early evening. On days Danny and I were home for whatever reason, we had to play quietly in the living room so my dad could get in his sleep. I didn’t mind at all because it meant I couldn’t practice piano, and my mother nagged at me constantly to practice. Danny and I were always quiet.

Then my dad would get up and take us somewhere or watch a movie with us, and we’d eat dinner all of us together in the evening before my dad left for work all over again. He and my mother always kissed goodbye right in front of me and my brother, right smack on the lips really loud, and there was never one day they didn’t. I loved watching them kiss. I couldn’t wait to grow up one day and kiss my husband every day when he was off to work.

I try to emulate my mother in that way but I come up short many times. There are days my husband Davy leaves for work and I don’t kiss him goodbye because we’re fighting. I respect so much how my parents kept it together every time.

I wish my dad was still around today, for my mother.

Always dishing,

Jun

Posted under: Reality TV Dishes

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25 comments

  • karenramb on March 8, 2014 at 1:42 pm said:

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    Sweet blog..before I got married my dad said..”always ask ur husband about his day.” I do it everyday since 87 .

  • My dad worked shift work when my brother and I were kids, and we knew when to be quiet. On midnights he’d stay up and have breakfast with us before we left for school and he headed to bed. My parents kissed hello and goodbye every time one of them left the house. And, luckily, I never heard them having sex either (EWWW!). They both taught me how to be a better spouse. Mom passed almost five years ago, and my dad is no longer the same guy. I wish she was still here for him.

  • What a great blog! I am sitting here reflecting on my mother and dad and how much they loved each other. They were married 60 years when my mother passed. My mother passed away 7 years ago this month and my dad passed the next year. He just did NOT want to live without her. What a love story they had and how I miss them. Now as I sit here in tears, I will say that they always kissed when either one left the house and returned. Yep even when they had an argument….which was very rare. We are blessed Jun to have the parents we did.
    Thanks again for this wonderful blog.
    Keep dishing.
    Pat

  • Aw, Jun-Bug,don’t stop loving Davy, just because you’re pissed with him! At least say, ‘I love you, but don’t feel close enough to you to kiss you right now.’ Maybe it will make you guys laugh and break the ‘ice!’ lol

  • My dad worked nights too. Interestingly, his trek went the opposite way, from the North Bronx to downtown Brooklyn. As a track foreman for the MTA, he was assigned to various repair sites. I remember him working overtime during the day once and the assignment was at 225th Street & White Plains Road next to my elementary school My class was going on a trip and who did I spy across the platform? My father, ordering the workers around with a loud voice. I was proud but confused. He was the boss yet he never raised his voice anywhere near me. At home, he was a teddy bear pushover.

    I learned to travel this city because he’d send my older brother and me home from wherever when we were 9 & 7. It was easy from there. All this talk makes me miss tokens of various denominations. Sigh.

    Another great blog.

    • Jun Song on March 8, 2014 at 7:49 pm said:

      Reply

      Cooooool. I had no idea your dad was with the MTA :) I love that you remember things so vividly. Best memories :)

  • Both my parents worked full-time my whole life, until they retired. My Dad worked nights and Mom days, so that someone would always be home for me without having to hire babysitters. When I was old enough to take care of myself, Dad still worked nights. I’m not sure he could have functioned any other way. I remember when I was about 16, my bff and I pulled an all nighter during the summer. So here we were, supposed to be at her house when my Dad, driving home from work, saw me hanging on a street corner talking it up with the boys at midnight. I never saw him drive past. Next day he asked how my sleepover was, and of course I made up a big ‘ole lie. BUSTED!! and grounded.

    • Jun Song on March 10, 2014 at 7:41 pm said:

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      Haaaaaa. OMG. I love that. He drove right past and waited until the next day ha! Thanks for sharing…and the laugh :)

  • Whatever flaws my parents’ marriage may have had, they ALWAYS kissed each other hello, goodbye and goodnight. This is a practice I continue with my husband.

  • Hi Jun,

    Beautiful blog. Please rethink not kissing Davy when you’re angry with him.

    My Husband is waiting for a Heart Transplant, so every moment is more precious.

    Even when he was healthy and we would argue, and I mean we were super pissed at each other, we would still kiss if one of us was coming or going. And in the morning and at bedtime. The kiss always makes us remember nothing is as important as our love and need for one another.

    I’m not judging or preaching, just saying, I know you love each other. So the kiss is an important sign to each other that you will get over the anger. I hope you will think about it.

    Sending you a big hug :)

    • Jun Song on March 10, 2014 at 7:38 pm said:

      Reply

      Thanks Aileen. I do rethink it hahaha. Some days I just plain fail. Thankfully they’re outnumbered greatly. I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts. Thank you for always sharing another piece of you with me. I know you know I know you know…

      Thanks for the hug!

  • We were a rowdy bunch. Only time the parents were assured of silence was for three hours on Good Friday lol

    Daddy worked 12 hours every day. We would see him at night. We had dinner as a family after the Angelus rang at 6 pm. Seven kids, one talking over the other, replaying our day and teasing each other. We were mannerly in our quest to be the center of attention but without fail, someone would mention the bathroom and functions. That always brought bellowing laughter followed by us looking to our dad at the head of the table to see how serious our reprimand would be. It was usually a ‘mind your manners’ and we would settle down until someone spilled their glass of milk. Then finger pointing at who was responsible lol

    Daddy :)

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