Jun Dishes

verb/diSH/ : food or sex or gossip or fiction in real life

Things In Common: Opening A Takeaway And A Body Rub Business


Check out this carrot I found from a farm nearby!


Because I’m about to open a Korean takeaway business and just for fun, I came up with an impromptu list of:

Things in Common between Opening a Takeaway and a Body Rub Business:

Market Research: You have to do market research for both the takeaway and happy ending biz. Who is your competition in the area? How many other businesses already offer the same thing you’re going to offer? It doesn’t matter if it’s a bowl of rice or a hand job, you need to know who else is peddling the same goods you are.

Menu: Both menus offered at the takeaway and the hand job joint should offer varied price points. You want to be sure to capture every budget walking in through your front doors. Items on the menu should be fresh and tasty and satisfying at both establishments. However, the bigger the menu the more work involved so everything extra is extra. Ka-ching.

Insurance: Everyone knows there’s insurance involved when it comes to opening a takeaway business, but you’d be surprised that there’s something called insurance in the body rub business too. It’s not your conventional plan you purchase and sign, but very unconventional indeed. Any body rub girl in your employ can never be trusted completely, especially under pressure. You must train them on what to do should the cops appear and break down the doors and bust the place, let’s say, for example. And in order to work in the business, each girl must bring in her passport or driver’s license for photocopying and safe-keeping in some safe in an undisclosed location. Basically, it’s insurance for the business that the girls never rat them out, or at least make them think twice before doing so.

Marketing and Advertising: This is key for both the takeaway and the body rub business. How and when, even down to hours of the day, must be planned in advance. It’s not like hand job shops will be tweeting publicly, so most sex businesses run on shadier arenas for advertising (i.e. Craigslist, hotel bedside magazines…). Sometimes, hiring a programming nerd to run your online advertising is your best bet. Balancing cost-effectiveness with good old-fashioned word-of-mouth, or hand, and use of technology is key for any business. In 2014 the possibilities are endless, and still some archaic, retro even.

Delivery: This is all about cost-effectiveness and nothing else. As a business owner, If it’s not “worth” delivering for free then you shouldn’t do it. Takeaways offer free delivery all the time because nobody wants to pay for delivery anymore. You’d think there’s no such thing as delivery in the body rub business, but there is. Most established sex businesses have a driver on-call for “outcalls” by which a working girl is taken to a client (lots of cab-taking too). But there’s always an extra charge to the client. That’s where a Korean takeaway and body rub biz really differ. Delivery is at a premium for hand jobs, and the client will pay anywhere from $50-$100 more for the request.

Safety is a whole other level of crazy, and worthy of its own blog…

Always dishing,


Posted under: Edible Dishes, Sex

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