Jun Dishes

verb/diSH/ : food or sex or gossip or fiction in real life

BB17 Power Rankings

Power Rankings is back. If you don’t know what that means it’s okay. It’s just a thing, that I once got paid to do, to do before Rice House ever happened. Three criteria and points tallied accordingly, and according to my current mood.

CRITERIA: 1. Would I trust this HG to babysit Noah for an hour or two?/  2. Would I employ this HG at Rice House? / 3. Would I double date with this HG (and their potential significant other)?

Would I trust this HG to babysit Noah:

MegMeg (+50 points) despite her preference to sit or lie down most of the time and her inability to sense evil, she’s an ideal puzzle and boardgames and movies kinda lazy babysitter.

JuliaJulia (+20 points) alone without her sister Liz, is someone I might actually let babysit Noah.

Liz

But not Liz, no (-20 points).

Steve

But I think Steve would be great because he and Noah would play Legos all day and Noah would adore him for it, and Steve talks a lot and so does Noah so there’s that (+50 points).

James

 I feel like James would be okay although Noah would inevitably pick up on things like James staring at women’s breasts, which Noah already calls “boobies” because it’s all my fault (+10 points).

JohnJohn talks a lot like Noah already, at least when he’s excited, so they have something in common already plus Noah likes dentists (+40 points).

Austin

Austin I fear, wouldn’t ever wash his hands or even properly enough to be a decent babysitter, and that’s all I have to say about that (-10 points).

Vanessa

Vanessa is a no (-20 points).

 

NEXT…

Would I employ this HG at Rice House: James would sexually harass every female patron and piss their men off, and that’s not what I want Belgians thinking Korean men are like sorry (-20 points). Meg would have to be given a desk job but um I don’t have those, so I suppose she could bag food or wash rice if her frail arms could handle it ugh (+10 points). Austin would spend more time trying to woo menstruating women and seek out Belgian wrestling federations with his wheezy breath, and fail at both and make me lose money (-20 points). Vanessa is a no for obvious business reasons (-20 points). Liz is a no because she will eat the whole shift every shift and cost me money, and you cannot speak Dutch with -uhhhhh at the end of every word or risk being beaten by angry Belgians (-10 points). Julia though is a maybe, since she doesn’t eat very much at all, and she seems somewhat ambitious in the kitchen, sigh (+10 points). John would probably work out because he could always do some illegal dental work on the side by day and make a killing, in addition to stickering Rice House merchandise and washing dishes for me by night (+10 points). Steve would be an easy hire for me although he’d have to get used to not having his mom around again, but with his musical background he could provide entertainment at Rice House while customers wait for their food (+30 points).

Would I double date with this HG (and their potential significant other)? John claims he turns himself up to obnoxious levels whenever he’s trying to end a relationship with a girl, so I’d actually like to see him do that in person on a double date (+20 points). Vanessa and her SO would be in truth be quite fascinating to have front row seats to, if you’re into studying couples (+25 points). Steve and his date would be nothing short of polite, and I love chocolate milk and Steve loves chocolate milk, so there’s that (+20 points). Austin is a no (-20 points). Liz with Austin is a no but with someone else possibly a yes (+10 points). Julia is someone I’d double date with, if only to get the scoop on how she beat leukemia ((amazing)) yet still turned out to be so vapid  (+10 points). Meg I’m not sure I could handle in large doses because she always looks like she’s in a state of something between hungry and deranged, and that can be disconcerting on a double date, but maybe (+10 points). James would of course bring Meg, because that’s just something James would do, and he’d stare at Meg’s boobs all night like I would (+50 points). Because, Koreans.

~

Based solely on HGs games and actually being there for the game I give an additional +25 points to Vanessa, Steve and John.

Based solely on the cleanliness of HGs souls, I award an additional +20 points to Meg and Steve.

Based solely on Austin’s speech during his nominations I deduct -500 points from Austin, and Liz by default, and -200 point from Julia by default.

~

TALLY (in order of decreasing suckage):

Austin: -550 points / Liz: -520 points / Julia: -160 points / Vanessa: 10 points / James:  40 points / Meg: 90 points / John: 95 points / Steve: 145 points

~

Steve

Steve wins. We’ll have to see if he survives this upcoming eviction. Sigh.

Always dishing,

Jun

Posted under: Big Brother, Reality TV Dishes

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17 comments

    • Jun Song on August 27, 2015 at 1:52 am said:

      Reply

      Thanks! No on James.

      I’m not dead yet so please give me some time to get back to writing. It’s a lot of work :)

  • I love the way you view the BB world – perfection! I LOL with this one…Meg I’m not sure I could handle in large doses because she always looks like she’s in a state of something between hungry and deranged
    OMG, you see them through magnifying glasses… love it!

  • lol love this Jun. I totally agree with you on the order I would choose the house guests to babysit Noah. I feel like Meg would be fun and Steve would get along great with a kid!

    I get the feeling you are not liking this season, but I would still love to read more BB posts if you write them. :)

  • Wow, I was all over Becky’s getting hit in the face by a tram enough that I somehow missed Julia’s leukemia! thanks for the info! lol

  • So glad Power Rankings are back!!
    I can imagine Meg being one of those people who makes her main income as a babysitter way into her 40s!! lol

    It’s amazing how different Liz & Julia have become as the show has progressed, and incredible how Liz can drag Julia down to her level when they’re together!!

    I love that you would love to double date with Vanessa on a voyeuristic level… I’m sure if you were rating that element on a social level then she would have as many negative points as Austin!! 😉 haha

    I think “cleanliness of HGs souls” should actually be a genuine criteria for all future Power Rankings!! lol

    I’m praying for Steve this week, but I fear he’s almost toooooooo nice to stand a chance with some of these people this season!!

    And welcome back to the BB Blogging World!! :)

  • No worries, if you hire Steve to work in the Rice House, you’ll more than fill the void left by him leaving his mom, so that shouldn’t be a problem.

Feel Free to Dish!