Jun Dishes

verb/diSH/ : food or sex or gossip or fiction in real life

15 Minute Blog

I have 15 minutes to tell you what I’d tell my therapist, if I had a therapist, because I’ve had them before sporadically, I just don’t have one now at this point in my life.

And it took me three minutes to formulate that first sentence so I’m doing a bad job right now.

By therapist, I very broadly mean someone you pay to talk to, degreed or not. Because here in Belgium you don’t need any official or specified academic degree to be a therapist. But if I had a therapist to talk to for, now, 7 minutes and counting…I’d say:

Today I’m feeling, overall, misunderstood and defeated, disrespected and devalued. Maybe by one specific person and maybe by more or a mob or maybe because I’m not allowed to feel like everyone else around me because I’m so different, so none of my feelings actually matter to anyone but me. Having left America and its culture to live in Belgium enveloped in its culture while never having fully ever left behind Korea and its culture, makes me different. Life doesn’t stop, your past follows you. It is you. So today, mentally and emotionally and physically too, I’m sore, but I refuse to roll over for anyone. I will not live my life, overall, being misunderstood or defeated or disrespected or devalued. Fuck no.

My brother is getting married in three months and as his sister I have things I must do, as a Korean and as an American-once-a-New Yorker-always-a-New Yorker, and the part of me that is now Belgian too. I return to New York City after a four-year separation.

I carry three identities yet everybody wants me to conform to one boring box. No.

And that’s what I’d tell my therapist, if I had one, today. In about 300 words. Not much for 15 minutes. But enough too.

Because I have too much shit to do, so blogging just has to wait.

Sighhhhhh…

~

Coming up in February though I do have a guest blog in the works.

Stay tuned.

Always dishing,

Jun

 

Posted under: Reality Dishes

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24 comments

  • I pity the fact that he/she/they do not see you as the multi-faceted jewel that you are. Continue to be you, with all your prisms. Do not let anyone block the light that makes you shine <3

  • Please, do not let anyone make you feel less than. I may not comment *but* I always read and simply love your frank perspective on everything; it’s very refreshing!

  • Helena (Leni) D. on January 27, 2016 at 10:51 pm said:

    Reply

    I’ve been reading and following your twitter feed & blog for years and I admire you. You’re a great mom, wife, and business owner! Hugs and prayers to you!

  • Anonymous on January 27, 2016 at 11:20 pm said:

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    I have no answers for you. I do have love and respect to give to you. And two ears to listen to your thoughts. Your answers lie within. Richard

  • Dearest Jun,
    I feel motherly towards you because I am old enough to be your mom. In this short blog you said more than a 30 minute lecture in a college class. You are right you are a multi faceted person, not only in experience but in the cultures you are a part of and the one you have come to embrace as your own. Your brothers wedding is extremely important not just because he is your brother but also because it gives you a chance to return to the city that made you very much who you are! You are a strong,independent, intelligent, feisty , loving, devoted and loyal person. Here is a truism that 64 years of life has taught me, no matter who we are or what culture we are it is more difficult to balance everything as a woman. Why? Because culture has no evolved as quickly as we have therefore we find ourselves limiting what we say, what we do, what we think until one day all the shit hits the fan and we scare the living crap out of everyone. So better to release frustration and your honest opinions like the valve on a pressure cooker does otherwise we simply explode . Keep being who YOU are as we your fans and your friends ~~~ see all the beauty that lies within you.

  • I like you just the way you are . We have never met, but the way you write is so open and real. They are not very frequent anymore, but they bring a smile to my face….like an old friend coming for a visit
    . Please don’t change.

  • Don’t we all have to conform to some sort of prejudice towards us, whether is from someone’s expectations to how you look or act? You be you, warts and all! That’s what makes us unique! Be fabulous and let them all just be jealous! Hang in there!

  • As it has since you set your foot in Belgium, I truly believe it comes down to one word. Jealousy. Pick any name within your orbit and it will fit. Except Noah. I love you and I’m here.

  • Justin Canada on January 27, 2016 at 11:59 pm said:

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    Not the same but the same: as a male, first son in a Chinese/Asian family, a gay man, a Canadian, a visible minority whose only life has been in Canada, etc. blah blah yadda yadda yadda. The only thing I don’t have is a vagina but I think I can imagine and empathize because I like men (does that make sense) and know how men treat other people (ya weird that I am man too so I guess I might treat other people that way too??). LOL! Rereading this makes me laugh. Anyway, just wanna say that I get you as much as I can. Hugs to you Gurl!

  • Katherine on January 28, 2016 at 12:29 am said:

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    I’ve been keeping up with you off and on, Jun, since BB4. I’m not on twitter myself, but I read yours often. Your recent tweets, especially the low blow about Davy opening up a business “for” you were upsetting to read. It sounds like a toxic combination of racism, sexism and, above all, jealousy. I have really admired how you have embraced life in Belgium and how well you have adapted and thrived. You’ve entered a whole new life as a wife and mother of an amazing child, learned another language and worked your ass off to establish a successful business. There are people who never achieve so much in their whole lives, let alone within 5 short years. Plus you have many prior accomplishments and are smart, assertive and a great writer. This is enough to make insecure people jealous and sexist losers resent you. Add to that the fact that you are a recent immigrant and of Korean origin- for small-minded idiots this makes your success even more of an affront. Throwing in your face the fact that you worked at home for 3 years is a way for them to attempt to take you down a peg or two so that they can feel better about their own pathetic lives. As an outside observer, I hope it’s not out of place for me to remind you of what you already know. Try to take this crap for what it is- really a validation of how impressive you are. Don’t swallow their poison, although I know it’s tough to not do that sometimes. I do believe that muscle pain is caused at least partly by stress (it’s happened to me) and that your recent sciatica is related to this. Treat yourself to a visit (or several visits) to a good massage therapist.

    I hope Davy appreciates how lucky he is to have you in his life and defends you. If not, I’d like to have some words with him!

  • Feeling free to dish cause you said I could! Been a “fan” (though when I’m talking about your life to my friends I say friend cause I feel like I know you so well) since BB4 and picked you back up when you were in college living with your momma and still Skyping your now husband. Anyways, I love you. Your drive, your point of view, your humor, beauty, honesty, everything. While you may not hear from all of us that love you as often as you hear from the haters, please know we are here for you! I know people in NYC if you need anything 😘 Someday I will come visit you at Rice House!!

  • We love you. We love all three Juns. You live and love all 3 of the cultures you are living and teaching Noah about. You are a strong woman

  • Jun-Bug, you wonderful girl-woman, don’t let whomever this person is get you down. Climb back up to the top and kick ass! This, too, shall pass… Can’t wait to hear how you handled this, but meanwhile, chin up. You have strangers who would take you in, nurture you, and give you love. How many people can truthfully say that?!

  • Whoever made you feel misunderstood and defeated, disrespected and devalued, won. Don’t let it continue. Stand up girl. You’re strong, smart, and a whole lot better than they. You know it, we know it. And remember too that you can’t be all things to all people. Always be true to yourself. You’re amazing.

  • Oh, Jun, I hope you are feeling better. I (blond) was raised in the Middle East, then came back to the States in high school. I’ve never matched SOCIETY’s standards either – how is it possible, there are many; and who would want to anyway. Just remember, Jun, you are f-ing fantastic! xxoo

Feel Free to Dish!