Hello Canada! I realize it’s not just Canadians reading but I’m gonna congratulate you guys on your 25 medals at this Winter Olympics. And now onto Big Brother Canada…
Last year around this time I said “I don’t even know if I’ll have the time to watch any of the first ever Big Brother Canada season premiering Wednesday, February 27th.”
This year I didn’t even realize that the second season of Big Brother Canada even revealed its cast. My brain has reached capacity and I’m late for the party. But I brought favors.
Remember these from last year?
I’ve done a set for this season and they look like this:
Rachelle is the youngest at 20 and Paul is the oldest at 43. He’s then followed by Sarah at the ripe age of 32, and then Ika who’s 29, and the rest of the crew? In their very early to mid-late 20s. It’s a very young house.
I listed Paul least likable because I think he’s gonna motivationally speak his way out of the house. Kyle, at 24-looking-34, may prove me wrong and be more likable, but not likely since he has the The Bachelor Juan Pablo-vibe going on. He fancies himself a catch. I feel like I was pretty accurate with my Most Likeable picks last year. This is based on nothing but first impressions judgements on paper and film. Everybody calm down.
1. “Inventor of the tongue-mounted toothbrush” – I can’t imagine what would be so important that you can’t brush your teeth with your own hands, unless you’re masturbating and shaving at the same time.
2. “The People’s People” – Someone please explain the plural stuff going on…
3. “The People’s Champ” – These are also the three words he used to describe himself in his bio. So he is not only The People’s Champ, but he describes himself as “The” and “People’s” and “Champ.” Like, imagine me going to a job interview and saying, “I’m Jun and I’m The!”
4. “HOH Supremacist of Big Brother Canada” – I don’t even want to touch this one.
5. “Muslim and Ambassador of Islam” – I will leave this one alone too. It’s altogether too many titles for me to deal with before enough coffee, which I’ve not had yet.
Also, I keep picturing a big blonde woman singing every time I picture Adel. Does anyone else’s brain do this?
The Jillian and Emmett showmance was one of the best things to come out of the first season of Big Brother Canada. Andrew is my pick to showmance right away, because it’s what it sounds like he does in real life anyway. Rachelle is hot enough to get ass whenever she wants in real life, so I think she’ll play in the house. And Lord knows Sabrina’s hilarious and makes it clear she’ll fall into someone’s lap with no panties on because she’s looking to showmance yesterday.
I think this is really a manifestation of who i’d like to go in what order because I don’t care who wins. If I’ve failed to mention anyone in this blog, which are many, it wasn’t intentional but maybe telling. Besides, none of these Canadians named me as their Big Brother idol and that’s just disappointing. Canada. I’d totally bring this up if there was ever a roast, and Julie Chen was my Roastmaster…
“Nobody on Big Brother Canada 2 named you as their Big Brother idol, Jun.”