Jun Dishes

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Big Brother 15: Final 3



This never-ending Big Brother 15 season is down to the Final 3. I have nothing invested in in any of the remaining 3 Houseguests and I don’t care who wins. I cannot comment on who played the best game because I dropped the show mid-season.

I can tell you that this final three of Andy the Rat, GinaMarie the Racist, and Spencer the Misogynist now join these ranks (I’m leaving out Season 1 for relevancy):





Season 2: First Round HOH: Nicole / Second Round HOH: Will / Final Round HOH: Nicole evicts Monica / Season Winner: Will with 5 out of 7 votes

Season 3: First Round HOH: Lisa / Second Round HOH: Jason / Final Round HOH: Lisa evicts Jason / Season Winner: Lisa with 9 out of 10 votes

Season 4: First Round HOH: Ali / Second Round HOH: Jun / Final Round HOH: Ali evicts Robert / Season Winner: Jun with 6 out of 7 votes

Season 5: First Round HOH: Drew / Second Round HOH: Michael / Final Round HOH: Drew evicts Diane / Season Winner: Drew with 4 out of 7 votes

Season 6: First Round HOH: Yvette / Second Round HOH: Janelle / Final Round HOH: Yvette evicts Janelle / Season Winner: Maggie with 4 out of 7 votes

Season 7 (All-Stars): First Round HOH: Erika / Second Round HOH: Boogie / Final Round HOH: Boogie evicts Janelle / Season Winner: Boogie with 6 out of 7 votes

Season 8: First Round HOH: Zach / Second Round HOH: Dick / Final Round HOH: Dick evicts Zach / Season Winner: Dick with 5 out of 7 votes

Season 9: First Round HOH: Ryan / Second Round HOH: Adam / Final Round HOH: Ryan evicts Sheila / Season Winner: Adam with 6 out of 7 votes

Season 10: First Round HOH: Dan / Second Round HOH: Memphis / Final Round HOH: Dan evicts Jerry / Season Winner: Dan with 7 out 7 votes

Season 11: First Round HOH: Kevin / Second Round HOH: Jordan / Final Round HOH: Jordan evicts Kevin / Season Winner: Jordan with 5 out of 7 votes

Season 12: First Round HOH: Hayden / Second Round HOH: Lane / Final Round HOH: Hayden evicts Enzo / Season Winner: Hayden with 4 out of 7 votes

Season 13: First Round HOH: Rachel / Second Round HOH: Porsche / Final Round HOH: Rachel evicts Adam / Season Winner: Rachel with 4 out of 7 vote

Season 14: First Round HOH: Dan / Second Round HOH: Ian / Final Round HOH: Ian evicts Danielle / Season Winner: Ian with 6 out of 7 votes

Season 15: First Round HOH: GinaMarie / Second Round HOH: ? / Final Round HOH: ? / Season Winner: ?

With GinaMarie having won the First Round of HOH already, what can we take away from BB statistics on First Round HOH winners and correlation to Season Winners?


Most winners of the First Round HOH went on to win the Final Round HOH, but only half then went on to win their respective season. Maggie didn’t win anything during final rounds of HOH and she still won her season. Any which way you cut it this season was 100 days too long.

Do you have a pick to win?

Always dishing,


Big Brother Alum


I’m thankful I was on Big Brother so many years ago, because I wouldn’t want to go on the show now. I don’t know if I could ever go back on the show again (Update: Here Goes Nothing). For a while I thought I would, given the right amount of compensation from CBS, but no. I wouldn’t put my friends and family through the hassle, and I don’t want to be remembered for going on the show anytime after this current season. Big Brother is becoming less and less CBS, and more MTV.

When they were casting for All-Stars in 2007 I was flown out to LA and I met with the gang at CBS again. I’d lost my dad to kidney failure in 2004, and my mother had tried to take her life as a result in 2005. I sat there with the producers and I answered their questions about what’s new and how does a second season of Big Brother sound to me. I felt like I was in a cave most of the interview, and I felt disconnected from reality. I was an emotional wreck since winning BB, but nobody knew it.

I answered all the producers’ questions but they knew my heart wasn’t in it. I’d already returned to work in banking since winning my season, and I’d also been running a little side business. I was focused on making money and running away from having to deal with death and depression in my family. Going back on Big Brother was not the right move for me. All-Stars happened without me, but I did judge a Food Competition that season with Marvin and Nicole. That was enough for me.


Since All-Stars I’ve stayed in touch with many people still on the Big Brother team, even after moving to Belgium and starting a family of my own. It’s their job to keep in touch with BB alum. CBS always has a way of tracking you down somehow even if the rest of us think you’ve gone MIA. It’s their job. For all those who think CBS doesn’t keep tabs on BB alum to use them if ever there comes a time, for anything, you’re wrong. They do. It’s their job, even for dinosaurs like me. Dinosaurs can be coaches too.

Their jobs must be getting harder in recent seasons with all the death threats and FBI-calling. I’m thankful my season was so long ago when less was at our vicious fingertips. I remember my cousin Miran, who was barely a teenager, had watched my season from home and ventured online to a Big Brother forum. In the forum I was being torn apart by rabid fans who hated me, and naive little Miran attempted to defend me. Quite innocently Miran thought that letting internet trolls know that she was related to me, and that she could vouch for me, would help support me.


Miran was chased off the forum crying, and traumatized. Growing up in a sheltered suburb of Delaware, Miran had never been accused of being “probably a lesbian who eats Jun’s pussy” or the like. I felt horrible. I still feel bad, but it’s funny to us now. That really was mild compared to 10 years later, today.

The internet is a wondrous place, but it’s also a clogged drain of anonymous hate to an extreme degree when it comes to Big Brother. It’s the reason I stopped watching Big Brother 15 and I know I did the right thing because my summer’s been peaceful. This is the first summer in years that I haven’t had my life threatened, or my family threatened, and my distancing myself from Big Brother has been better all-around.

I say I’d never go back on the show because nowadays some fans take it so far that people losing their livelihoods is not enough. Threats of rape and torture and death, and harassment of all kinds and outlets, has become the norm in recent Big Brother seasons. No amount of money or thirst for fame could ever make me get close to any of that, even if I know I’d win if I ever got back in the Big Brother house. I know I would, but it wouldn’t be worth my family having to have to go into hiding for months for their own sake.

It’s not easy to turn off the hate when it’s coming at you consistently in the public. Ignoring it is harder than you’d think, even though it’s the easiest thing to say. Some Big Brother alum choose to stick around and interact with fans while others drop their Big Brother experience and return to life. Some do both, and some do it better than others and for different reasons. The more you’re in the public eye, the more everything.

There’s a lot wrong with people who go into the Big Brother house, but they’re exponentially outnumbered by the lots going wrong with fans outside the Big Brother house. Fan rage escalates every year. How far can it go?

Always dishing,


Forever Weight Loss


I was never obese enough to trigger health concerns, but I was always plump most of my childhood. My parents used food to make me happy. I use food to make others happy now.

When I entered junior high school I was fat. In high school and college I was still fat. Right up until a few year before I entered the Big Brother house in 2003 I was pretty much fat, having hit my peak at 192 pounds in 1999. My size never stopped me from entering contests or playing piano in a gospel band, or leading my senior class in high school as Class President. My confidence was never shattered because my body was thicker than someone else’s.

I guess I was just living in a state of pleasant plumpness.

Yesterday I got asked:


The first time I ever really did something towards weight loss I was 23 years old, and I’d ballooned up to those 192 pounds. I got there after discovering weed when I moved out of my parents’ home at 19. I smoked every day and ate whatever I wanted as late as I wanted, and I never worked out so of course I gained weight. The first year I smoked I got the munchies like an exorcism, and I was making good money so I ate extravagantly. Oink.

The second year into my marijuana discovery I slowed down everything a little bit, but got to my peak weight and hated it. I wasn’t necessarily ashamed of it, but I knew I couldn’t keep gaining weight at that rate. So I dragged my fat Korean ass to my doctor and asked to be put on a weight loss program. My career and love life, both, had hit a point where I had to give a little gas to make better things happen. It was an easy decision for me to start taking better care of my body. I know it isn’t for everyone.

I never had surgery or took any pills, and simply followed a 3-month program of healthy eating and exercise to “cleanse” my system. In those 3 months I nearly died a few times, dramatically of course, because I wasn’t accustomed to strict diet or real cardio. The first two weeks seemed like I was on a fast of lettuce and beans, but thankfully I didn’t have to work out very much while getting guidance from my doctor.

I drop two pounds the first month, and hated everybody from the girl jogging down the street to the guy eating a burger at lunch. I kept going because I knew how lame I’d look giving up a month in, and so when I dropped seven pounds the second month I was relieved I hadn’t given up on the program. I had given up all my hot and cheesy breakfasts and stuck to yogurt and fruit and dry toasts. Lunches were always salads with a healthy protein and sometimes soup. It was no more takeout dinners and instead steamed this and that with plenty of vegetables.

Month three turned out even better results and I was actually enjoying exercise for the first time in my fat life, and my doctor told me I could once again eat some junk every once in a while but in moderation. I continued with the healthy eating and working out. My boyfriend at the time, Jee, and I went on vacation to celebrate and I got called a “fat tub whale” in the pool by a little boy at our hotel. So much for all the progress I had made because that random kid crushed me with his one comment. A kid!

When I returned from fat tub whale vacation I started eating less and working out more. This resulted in my fainting a few times, once on the F train into Manhattan during morning rush hour with Whitney Houston blaring in my ears as I drifted in and out of consciousness. My fellow F-trainers had pulled my lifeless body out onto the platform at the next stop, and I was whisked off to the emergency room. To this day I can’t listen to back-to-back Whitney because it reminds me of that morning.

I realized in the hospital bed that day that I was developing an eating disorder trying to run on as little food as possible while I worked out twice a day. I was 108 pounds that day I fainted on the F train. It was my lowest weight as an adult, and it scared me.

After that incident but before I entered the Big Brother house years later, I was at healthier weights depending on what was going on in my life. I stress-ate in between boyfriends and break-ups. Somewhere in the 130s I remained for years, and when I went on Big Brother 4 I was in the 120s. I left the BB house $500,000 richer and nearly 20 pounds heavier. I stress-ate. I got made fun of, and still get made fun of for it.

If you put yourself on television, then you’re going to be made fun of.

Leaving the house I was tanned and brown and fuller everywhere from my face to ankles, but I didn’t care. I’d won, and I’d return home richer and more motivated to get a gym membership to work my fat ass off. It’s been like that since I left the BB house. I fluctuate the same ten pounds every year, except the year I was pregnant.

I poke fun at people’s weight gain on Big Brother and poke fun at people’s weight loss on Survivor. I’m not an expert on topics of weight, but I will tell you it can’t be easy for GinaMarie right now. If her stories of bulimia are true, then she is probably struggling under the cameras and microphones each day…just like she probably struggles in real life.

Always dishing,



Dear Julie Chen


Dear Julie Chen:

I know you remember me though you’ll never acknowledge me, but I do have some words for you. Woman-to-Woman. I never liked you, and I judged you before I even met you in 2003, because of your very public affair with the President and CEO of CBS Les Moonves before he was ever divorced. Your sleeping with a married man with children in the public eye was unacceptable to me then, and it’s unacceptable to me now.

Your multiple reconstructions to your facial structure to lose your naturally Chinese features sent a message to me and other Asian women at the time, that looking more “white” is how you got ahead in life. Your drastic plastic surgeries were unacceptable to me then, but now I understand more the pressures you must have been under at the time your career needed a boost. You must have faced worse racism than anything any of these Big Brother Houseguests could throw at you or me, because I know that in a white corporate conglomerate being Asian sets you apart. Racism is closeted and hidden to the highest degree, and I don’t want to judge you anymore for what you felt you had to do to fit in to be a cookie-cutter journalist…and apple of the Moonves eye.

I remember that you were sent to Kuwait and you bombed. You did. You went over there expecting your usual bottled water, and wearing pretty sweater sets like you were about to have brunch, and not expecting sand storms all up on your lip-glossed mouth. You were only there because of your relationship with Les Moonves, but I followed you, and researched you because there aren’t many Asian women in media with the kind of klout that you have…that you can have. In a field dominated by white women, you simply were one of the few Asian could-be trailblazers.

I’ve always been harsh on you from the beginning, and everybody in the Big Brother 4 house and production knew it the season I won. I was aware of my acts when I talked badly about you during live shows when we went to commercial. I was obnoxious and rude, and took advantage of the fact that you might be able to hear me from the studio on those days as I cracked jokes about you. I remember I was asked to “take it easy” but I wouldn’t. I had so much respect for everyone on the Big Brother 4 team but I had no respect for you. I am sorry that I was such a hostile bitch then. Our exchanges were awkward at best after I’d won, and I know it was because of me. Deliberately.

When I came back with Jack in 2006 to write on the “Revenge of the Houseguests” blog on the CBS website, I was being myself then just like I am now. It didn’t go over very well with many fans online, but it did with others and I found a sample of it on Jokers. My point in this is that I also poked fun at you too…the same things I still poke fun at you about now…your hair and clothes and makeup and superficial things. You were and still are a part of the show, and you are fair game.

So a few weeks into the blog your assistant called me. She asked me if I could stop mentioning you in the Revenge of the Houseguests blog posts and I told her no. There was nothing in the contract I’d signed saying you were off limits. I didn’t care. They were just jokes about you being Chenbot.

Fast forward many many years and you are a mother. I am a mother. You are a wife. I am a wife. You are an Asian voice. I am one too, but yours is bigger. You have a child of mixed heritage as do I. I admire how you protect your son and I strive to protect my Noah too. Actively. I know it’s not easy.

I am not watching anymore. You have to host it.

Talking about “hot” topics on “The Talk” to promote Big Brother 15 is one thing and I understand the need for ratings and Poppy sightings, but Julie…can you walk the walk in addition to the talkity-talk and do something more? Please? I know you’re “normal” off-camera but I don’t care if you do something on or off any camera.

I don’t like how you got to where you got, but I recognize the impact you could have if you didn’t just “sit by and watch like the rest of us.”  We’ve seen where that’s led in history. Have ratings trumped human damage?

Represent yourself and nobody else for a moment and draw the line somewhere? Les can’t because he doesn’t have to, but you still can. If he loves you and you love him there’s nothing you can’t do, right?


Facetiously signed,

Jun Song





In the 13 hours that yesterday’s blog Big Brother Hiatus was “live” on my site, where I basically break up with Big Brother 15, it was read 15,244 times.




That’s the most views I’ve had for one article on my site in one day, let alone 11 hours. Thank you all.

It’s nothing compared to the number of actual Big Brother 15 viewers. I’m just one person, and I wrote the blog because I can’t just stop watching the show mid-summer and not blog about it. I’d be asked about “why” countless times a day for days on end on Twitter and Facebook, and really I never pass up an opportunity for a dramatic farewell of any kind.

I don’t want Big Brother canceled or dropped like some fetus brains accuse me of, but I wish CBS wouldn’t be so transparent in their cowardice of “not condoning” but very much condoning half the sick behaviors this season.

Since posting my blog in dramatic farewell to Big Brother 15, I’ve heard from fans across the spectrum. I’ve heard it all, or just about, including demands that I return my Big Brother 4 winnings and that I’m pretentious and holier-than-ye. Ye is the plural of thou, right?

I’m not trying to rally others to boycott anything, and I’m not on any kind of witch hunt. I think it’s extreme that family and livelihoods of the current HGs have been threatened and compromised. Fans can be just as bad as any HG, and fans have the means and the freedom to do more damage while the show is going on. It’s a sign of the times good or bad.

Some fans have contacted me in asking for more action to be taken to get the attention of Les Moonves and CBS, however technically HGs are not “employees” of any kind as it is clearly stated in their contracts so there is no legal argument to be made there. It’s not like the “leaders” at CBS don’t know what’s going on, and they don’t have to care until they start losing money which hasn’t happened and won’t happen anytime soon.

My “Dear Big Brother 15” letter was read only 15,244 times yesterday and as the posting of this blog today 4,000 or so more times. So with approximately 20,000 views in the last 24 hours, and only 350 of those readers sharing the blog on various social media platforms… How likely is any of it to effect change?

As a realist I don’t know what a letter to “Mr. Chen” or CBS will do, especially when the numbers aren’t adding up. As I said in an earlier blog you either hit CBS where it hurts most or you stop watching, or keep watching. It’s everyone’s personal decision, and CBS isn’t shoving anything down our throats that the public isn’t asking for.

As we all have seen, CBS has put its disclaimer out and is protected. A letter or petition of a few thousand names will never get to anyone’s desk of worth at CBS, and the millions of television viewers who don’t follow the live feeds will never truly know “what the big deal is” about the big deal this summer. Big Brother isn’t going anywhere as CBS’s summer money-maker.

I’m okay with that, but only because I’ve turned my back to it. Sadly, but surely.

Always dishing,



Big Brother Hiatus



Dear Big Brother 15:

I’m leaving you. I can’t take you anymore.

You’re supposed to be part dirt and part strategy but you’re mostly human trash in every sense of the word, save for the few kind-hearted HGs that make you up. You’re supposed to be fun, but time and time again you’ve proven to be the bottom of the barrel in poor representation of The United States of America. Glorified behaviors in the name of ratings, and scrapings from under the toenails of closeted racists and misogynists and homophobes. Now, most recently, children have been brought under the veil of “sexual jokes” or just “jokes” to some.

What the fuck has happened to you?

As a HG no matter how much we say we’re not playing personally we are, and it’s just a matter of how much day to day because we can’t hide who we are 24 hours a day. As a fan we have our personal favorites, which we should be able to separate from those we think are playing the best strategic game and most deserving of the win. Well, as a fan I don’t want to work so hard at sifting through your layers and layers of filth.

I don’t want it. I don’t care how old or bitter I sound because I’m the same old and bitter soul that won you 10 years ago before you were ever a line in the 2013 budget. I will take my season of dirt over yours any day of any year. I’m neither going to continue watching you and pretend I don’t know what’s going on, on the live feeds, nor am I going to continue promoting and bitching anymore about you. I don’t want your cake to have or to eat anymore, so you can have all the cake and eat it too as you feed the masses with the trash they want to see.

I’m saying goodbye.

It is possible to just turn you off, and easier here from Belgium, because my free time is too good for you.

Always dishing (just not watching you anymore),


P.S. This is my personal decision alone, and those who find me “holier than thou” can feel free to shut me off at any time as well. If you feel like I’m judging you, then you shouldn’t hang around me… The sooner the better as far as I’m concerned…

Life Lessons and Big Brother


Today’s been a rough day for me both in reality and reality television, because I need more sleep in my life and it’s not happening. With Aaryn’s newest racially-fueled bitching about Candice, and otherwise rampant yuckiness that’s taken over the BB15 house I feel so frustrated as a BB fan and alum. I’m glad I made the choice not to follow live feeds myself this summer because it’s all a little bit too much, and Noah is the best medicine for all of it.

10 Life Lessons

On a rough day like today I saw this tweet and was reminded that there is always something good in my day because of things NOT Big Brother 15. Noah could learn a few lessons from Big Brother though, as well as potential and future HGs:

Big Brother Life Lessons

#1 – 5:


Jimmy T was the only tweeter to catch Robert’s tweet and reply with a quick five, and I liked them a lot.

#1. Be respectful to all people: This should be done in life, and also in the BB house. Sometimes you see people being disrespectful, and it happens in the BB house, and if you can’t change the person before you then all you can do is be respectful to all people yourself. I once saw a woman degraded in front of her entire family by her abusive husband, and I didn’t say anything about it right then because I knew I’d only make it worse. I learned to respect the woman for how she protected her child from his father, and I spent time with her when she needed some company while divorcing her husband.

#2. Family comes first: This should be applied to the BB house too.  There will be times when you fight with family, and there will be times you don’t. Despite the combustible relationship between Evel Dick Donato and his daughter, they made it to the final two their season. There have been times where I did not put my family first, and my family understands and cares only that I returned and have now come full circle having learned so many life lessons.

#3. Give your all in everything you do: This applies to life, and “everything you do” in the BB house too. Whether you’re giving your all in trying to throw a competition or win one, or making your point in the diary room…give it your all. If you give it your all, then you should have no excuses lose or win. Giving your all doesn’t mean you always win, but if you half-ass your life all the way through then you’re just a half-ass at the end of your life.

#4. Life isn’t fair: BB isn’t fair either. We’ve experienced so many “unfair” happenings as fans, and HGs alike, and starting a petition online or new hashtag on Twitter isn’t going to make life more fair. In reality we get our hearts broken and lose loved ones too soon, and it’s not fair that I got cheated on by an asshole ex. But I moved on because life’s not always fair.

#5. LIVE: Live your life actively and play the BB game actively. You don’t have to win every challenge and jump into genital fondling with the first warm body to be active in the BB game, because you can make up for it in story-telling or ruthless backstabbing or overall great personality. I chose to live my life my way at a very young age, because it was my way to cope with a time I’d not had control. Going on Big Brother and winning was not when I started living. I was living everything my way already and it’s why I went on the show in the first place.



#1. Love yourself: You won’t love everything about yourself at one time very often in life, but you must love yourself first and foremost. Noah, you bring joy to those who bring you joy and you must never change that.

#2. Love who you want to love: If you do one day want to find a love of your life, then love who you want to love in life…man or woman…and learn your own lessons on love. Noah, it’s what brought your father and I together after a very single lifetime apart.


#3. Apologize when you’re at fault: If you need to apologize more than once, then do it again but never make it empty because it will make you empty. Noah, it’s what separates me now as a mother from what I was before you were even a possibility.

#4. Follow your gut:  Without blinking an eye let yourself listen to what your gut is telling you, and take ownership of your bearings that have been passed on to you. Noah, to follow your gut means never blaming anyone else and instead growing from your mistakes.

#5. Be prepared for consequences: As you do all these things in “bold” on this page always be aware and prepared for consequences while doing them. Noah, a life with no consequences is a life less lived so live a full life and choose your own paths.

Noah, today all you had to worry about was that I wouldn’t let you climb onto the coffee table and you cried dramatically. I then mussed up your hair and you were cried even more dramatically.


One day when you’re older coffee table climbing will be the least of your problems, and I can only wish that sometimes you will come my way so I can help you through whatever life lesson you’re going through.

Always dishing,


Kaitlin’s Twitter Apology


In post-season social media behavior, the evicted BB15 HGs so far have been proving themselves true to who and what they were in the house and out. David’s just as nonsensical in his tweets as he was in pre-season interviews and the diary room, and Nick is all about making it big jumping off his Big Brother “fame” rubbing elbows with the likes of Boogie and Brenchel and even Liza. Jeremy is back to being wholly unaware of his faults and living his “cute” self-inflated ego life, and Kaitlin…

Kaitlin’s just left the house and in less than 48 hours she’s tweeted an apology:


I saw it through a RT and I thought good for her for just putting that out there right away. I clicked to her Twitter timeline and saw she’d RTed lots of people telling her she doesn’t need to apologize, as a means to deflect guilt onto others. I’m assuming she hasn’t watched the footage, or if she has she still believes she’s just a victim of circumstance and bad company.


I consider myself a BB fan, like all of you, in addition to being a former player and winner and self-proclaimed knower of a little bit of everything and still learning. According to Wikipedia, fandom is a “term used to refer to a subculture (see my blog about the Big Brother subculture) composed of fans characterized by a feeling of sympathy and camaraderie with others who share a common interest.” We could technically swap out “a common interest” with “almost nothing” and it would mean the same thing as far BB fans are concerned. Fans don’t always help the situation, because whether we like it or not all BB alum have fans and some fans are blinded by their personal or perverted feelings for their HGs. It’s the fans that make Big Brother but we don’t all agree on who’s actually fan-worthy.

So this isn’t an anti-fan blog, but a pro-fan blog where I dramatically ask you to neither threaten Kaitlin nor encourage her bullshit. Right now Kaitlin’s apology looks insincere at best, and I focus most on her post-eviction activities because she’s a woman like I’m a woman. Kaitlin’s gorgeous but there should be more for us to cling to than that, and her participation in Big Brother Vagina Wars has now boiled down to wasted apology.

It would be like the very heavy guest I had in my home this weekend who sat in and broke the rocking chair in the corner of Noah’s bedroom… ChairThe chair didn’t fall through immediately when the person sat in it, but I’m never going to bring it up to them because it won’t bring the chair back and I’ll only hurt someone’s feelings. But let’s say I did broach the subject with said heavy person and the person apologized about it, then told everyone  it was the chair’s fault and the fault of other heavier people who’d sat in it? That would be Kaitlin, loosely analogized.

Kaitlin, if you’re reading…

I’m not “picking on you” but I’m focusing more on you than the other three evicted before you, because you had a chance to redeem yourself and instead you’re taking the lame way out. You should either delete the apology so your timeline makes more sense, or stop RTing fans who’ll say anything to get a RT. At the end of the day one apology to the fans means less than your realizing you can just stop at “I’m sorry.”

If you can’t, then don’t apologize in the first place. Why would you apologize for anything if you truly feel you did nothing wrong?

Always dishing,


Big Brother 15 Bullseye – Week 4


Julie Tweet

I don’t know what’s going on from the neck-up anymore with Julie Chen, because I don’t know when it became fashionable to carry your own piss-pot in your hair. That’s what it looked like last night. I’m convinced it was a bowl of rice in case Aaryn was evicted but Kaitlin got the boot instead, and now we’ll never know what Julie had in her hair.



For those of you who have been asking WTH “WTH” is as far scoring the HGs:

Working the house (“WTH”) would be something like Amanda who is neither vehemently disliked nor cherished, yet she has the ability to work the house on her own without anyone else’s help.

Working America (“WA”) would be something like Helen who is clearly speaking more to America than she is to the diary room when she’s spelling everything out for us with the occasional hair flip for emphasis.

Working the potential jury (“WJ”) would be like Howard keeping his cool and thinking long term to jury as he does in life when faced with racism.

This week: Judd still remains #1 overall:



I don’t see King Judd being knocked off the Bullseye soon, but let’s get on with the rest of the messes:


AarynWTH: You’ve done so much damage in the house that it’s actually become an advantage for you because you got zero votes for eviction, and you’re still in the house (+30 points). WA: Your family’s hired a PR crew to clean up your online image, yet America still does not like you (+10 points). WJ: Now that you’ve survived the block twice and won HOH twice your jury speech only gets stronger which make me sick, but at least I have screencaps of you suffering in the mud to make me feel better (+20 points). Week 4: 60 points // Cumulative: 140 points


GinaMarieWTH: You got zero votes because you are inconsequential to most of the house, and provide comic relief with your severely defective vocabulary (+10 points). WA: You showed America what a girl with no gag reflex looks like on a Friday night in Staten Island, and you actually made me feel inadequate in the deep throat arena. Brava (+20 points). WJI applaud you for not going “gangster” on Elissa when she pushed you away, I guess you reserve your “beatdowns” for non-white girls (+10 points). Week 4: 40 points // Cumulative: 120 points


CandiceWTH: Attaching yourself to Howard every waking moment is getting in the way of your working the house the way you did at first (+10 points). WA: Half of America loves your earrings and the other half hates them, and i’m just confused by them (+20 points). WJ: I don’t see you having a problem with the jury at the end so long as you win a competition here and there, because you can’t hang on to Howard’s schlong forever (+10 points). Week 4: 40 points // Cumulative: 180 points


ElissaWTH: You don’t even have to do much to work the house, because some of these people are stupid enough to think you got MVP and nominated yourself only to play in the veto and save yourself (+20 points).  WA: You cry about wanting to go home when you don’t get your way, and then gloat like a rubby ducky but you’re not really fooling anyone (0 points). WJ: You suck at jury management but if you survive this week with Aaryn as HOH, and not being able to play in veto, then your jury speech is better than half the house’s. (+20 points). Week 4: 40 points // Cumulative: 180 points

Kaitlin: Have a great time in Vegas. Bye.


HelenWTH: You were penalized with two nights of 8pm curfew which probably helped your game, because it meant you had to shut our mouth for longer than usual (+20 points)?! WA: “America”, in this case Rachel’s fans, may not like you turning your back on Elissa this week but you don’t seem to care since you have deals with everyone but Julie Chen at this point (+10 points). WJ: Kaitlin, whom you voted out, seems to think the world of you and I really think the rest of the HGs sincerely like you as well (+30 points). Week 4: 60 points // Cumulative: 220 points


McCraeWTH: You’re passively working the house while your queen aggressively works it for you, even in the toilet (+20 points). WA: You’re getting a good edit on television, but on the feeds you have your moments aka referring to someone as a “cunt” (+10 points). WJ: Your $5,000 win in the POV competition, plus the fact that you’re Amanda’s bitch, will hurt you come jury time  (+10 points). Week 4: 40 points // Cumulative: 160 points

Andy: WTH: You manage to be everywhere and nowhere, and it’s only a matter of time before someone attacks you for it, so you need to be ready with more than color-blocked clown shirts (+20 points). WA: You get to host a competition and look suitably geeklicious, yet today you also throw the word “cunt” around on the live feeds as if it’s easy to just roll off your tongue (+10 points). WJ: Your jury vote is getting stronger the longer you’re a Have-Not in that god-forsaken house, but I don’t believe you’d win. (+10 points). Week 4: 40 points // Cumulative: 160 points

JessieWTH: You might as well take a long nap until final five because you’re on nobody’s radar, including production’s (+20 points). WA: America needs to know more about you, but CBS doesn’t seem to be interested in providing that yet which means you’re going to be around for a while (+10 points). WJ: If you get to jury you’ll probably be sitting with someone just like you, and someone better than you, so I don’t see you winning (+10 points). Week 3: 40 points // Cumulative: 160 points


AmandaWTH: You were upset about your key being pulled last at Judd’s HOH nomination ceremony, yet it was your one-piece bathing suit that offended Elissa enough to bring you to tears. Get it together (+10 points). WA: America’s split on you, because many of us enjoy what you bring to BB and others are Rachel’s fans (+30 points). WJ: You’re in a good spot come any jury, just like you’re in a good spot week-to-week no matter who’s HOH (+20 points). Week 3: 60 points // Cumulative: 240 points

SpencerWTH: What you lack in soul you make up for in trivia knowledge from Hitler to sexual predator language to aliens and everything remotely creepy in-between, and HGs actually listen because despite your size you never raise your voice (+30 points). WA: Television-viewers know you to be a gentle giant with rough edges, while live feeders know you to be the guy you never want to live next door to if you’re gay or an attractive tampon-user (+20 points). WJ: If you survive this week you have the “Howard had Candice and I had nobody” argument handy, and if you survive it’s because the HGs think Howard’s a bigger threat. (+10 points). Week 4: 60 points // Cumulative: 200 points

JuddWTH: You’re HOH and you’re supposed to be “the bad guy” who nominates people, yet nobody hates you and GinaMarie even had a beer ready for you when you got out of solitary. Nicely done (+40 points). WA: Your mom’s letter to you in your HOH basket read, “Your dad hasn’t been this nervous since the day you were born,” and it sounded just right to America (+30 points). WJThings like solitary confinement will make good bullet points when you’re making your jury speech (+30 points). Week 4: 100 points // Cumulative: 400 points


HowardWTH: Doing yoga with Elissa was a good move, as was letting Candice feel up on your man parts with her body during the POV competition, but sticking so close still with a former Moving Company loser may hurt you this week (+20 points). WA: America pretty much loves you, and not all of  America has even seen what’s under those sweatpants of yours (+30 points). WJ: When potential jury member Candice tells you to go get her a pebble you reply, “I ain’t no penguin” yet you let her use you like a piece of Grade-A furniture. Nicely done (+10 points).  Week 4: 60 points // Cumulative: 280 points

~ ~ ~



~ ~ ~

My Personal MVP Of The Week: Howard’s bulge, I mean…Howard.



~ ~ ~

Oh, and Helen’s back on my Favs list:

Favs Week 4It’s been 4 weeks yet I feel like I’ve aged 40 weeks.

Always dishing,



Big Brother Vagina Wars


I can’t speak for any other vagina but my own so I’ll speak for my vagina today. I never refer to my own vagina as a cunt, and I never have because the word cunt is only reserved for really bad vaginas. Occasionally, a very angry person will call me a cunt. I’ve highlighted said word in a comment I received here on my site in response to my Big Brother Diary Room FAQs blog:


I moved said comment to “Trash” because as much as I love extra traffic to my site, I won’t lower my bar on cunts. If you can’t come back at someone without using such a word, then like “Freak_Show”, you too probably have so many alias accounts that you never go outside. I let Freak_Show know that the comment was deleted and why, and actually I’d have left the comment up had I not been called a cunt. Of course there was denial.


Hey…I refer to people, male or female, as cunts on occasion when the spite levels are high and so I’m not trying to banish it from existence. If you put yourself out there for people to see, then you’re going to get called a cunt on occasion. I’d just never go to someone’s website and start an argument leading to my calling the owner of the website a cunt. It’s just not going to happen here, neither to me nor you, and especially not over a blog about the Big Brother diary room.

It has happened, however, quite often in the Big Brother house. It’s usually the men referring to the women as “cunts” and such, but only because women are much more creative in tearing down fellow women. Men can’t really touch us in that arena. Freak_Show is a pesky fly compared to what other women can do to me.


Thanks Murtaza for the segue. I don’t believe men make it farther in the BB game per se, especially not in final two standings and especially not this season. But I think I’m going to take a guess on where you’re going with this question. If anyone’s got the numbers on men versus women please share, but I’m going to take a female winner’s standpoint of Big Brother and run with this.

We’ve seen already this Big Brother 15 season a large male alliance sprout up then go limp and dead, early on. Although what was once The Moving Company was right to stir things up amongst the women, because it did work, it wasn’t good enough to stop three men in a row from being evicted. Spencer relishes in referring to female HGs as cunts, and his overall unappealing physique and face only add to his already ugly disposition and tongue.

Elissa, who came into the game claiming she wanted to head-up an all-girl alliance has done anything but, although she’s played a hand in all three of the evictions. An all-girl alliance. That’s an oxymoron in the BB house. Why? Because historically it’s rarely happened, and the opposite’s happened more often than not.

Men are just as guilty of shit-talking about other men and women in the BB house, but women take other women’s weak spots and stab them until they bleed BB tears. This shouldn’t be news to anyone, and if anything I’d rather everyone be more open and honest about it. We all have a mean streak in us. I keep mine on a leash most of the time and only released upon my command. With people I keep my guard up with, like you often do in the BB house, when you let your mean streak go then it’s because you want it to go. We’re all adults by hormonal standards.

So lame is the excuse that “HGs’ behaviors are a result of the duress they’re under in the house.” Stop making excuses for people who already make too may excuses for themselves. Everyone is in there for $500,000 and sometimes fame, and what you see is what you get when that HG doesn’t get their way. It’s not far from how the HG would react outside the house, just on 24-hour blast for the masses to watch. When we see cattiness and personal attacks behind people’s back and sometimes to their faces on Big Brother, our eyes bug out and we tweet out 140 characters of shock at a time…as we should. We’ve all seen some mean shit this season, and mostly by the women. It’s a shame there’s never been a dominant all-girl alliance with a cool name.



My alliance with Ali and Erika got us to the final four, and although I personally disliked both (as they did me) it worked. The name of our alliance still haunts me, but I liked how our stresses were taken out in the diary room more than they were by drinking wine and flipping beds and protesting one-piece bathing suits. If you want to truly work together with other women you do not badger them on their insecurities for the rest of the house to see or talk like racist pieces of trash to one another. Referring to Candice as ugly and fat behind her back, as a woman, is intentional and defensive as well as offensive. It’s more fun to sew together lettuce and cherry tomato bikinis for the girls like I did my season in between catty diary rooms, isn’t it?

For every tiring person who tells me my season was 10 years ago so who cares? Maybe we should care. Look around you.

I still wish for a bigger and better women’s alliance at some point in the Big Brother timeline. With showmances that turn out to be real life love, it’s no wonder we don’t see numbers in strength in women in the house. Purely from love’s standpoint I’m always happy for happily married couples. From game’s standpoint it’s horrible odds for vagina power and overall you get vagina wars plus a few edited saints.

Big Brother fever brings out the best and worst in HGs and fans alike. I thank all you best of fans. Freak_Show, I wish you peace.

Always dishing,


Photo Credit: If anyone knows where the above Big Brother’s Angels photo originated, then please do let me know! I had it in my BB archives from 10 years ago and I can’t remember the source.