I couldn’t come up with a better title for this blog, because I didn’t want to. If fans can ask me about “how” I pooped in the BB house, then you’ll just have to bear with me on the unsavory title and subject matter. It’s a fair question, and one I asked myself dozens of times a day before entering the Big Brother 4 house. Then the tally went up to a dozen times an hour once I set foot in the house and actually saw for myself the camera in the toilet.
Lest you doubt how seriously I take my bathroom lifestyle, I’ve already outlined how my morning poops have been affected since becoming a mother. So what’s a person to do when they’re entering a house where there are cameras in the toilet and shower and bathtub? You need to FORGET about the cameras. Easier said than done. But we’ve yet to see someone self-evict for poop’s sake.
I really had no choice, because I got so backed up the first few days. You either get bloated then make yourself sick with toxic waste festering in your body, or you take the dump you need to take. Some HGs my season asked for mild laxatives to help them go, because they were so camera-terrified about the toilet. If you’ve noticed, Big Brother footage in the toilet only happens when something’s actually going down in there (and by down I don’t mean feces), be it plotting or having sex or cleaning the toilet with someone’s toothbrush. Remember Shannon?
(The toilet was WAY bigger back then in the BB house by the way…)
You’ll never see HGs in the bathroom together, with one sitting there pooping on the toilet and the other just standing there talking strategy. If you’re doing something you shouldn’t be doing, or if you’re in there talking to another HG, then the producers will cut and show some of that film. Period. But if you’re just doing your doo-doo business in the toilet, no camera man is sitting there watching you brace for every pinch. At least that’s what you have to brainwash yourself to believe when you’re in that house.
What you do in the toilet is the least of your concerns in the BB house. Ironically, the toilet’s probably the safest and most private place in that crazed house where an accidental nip-slip or peen pic will land you a screencap forever archived somewhere. The toilet’s your friend, actually, and it’s a moment by the pool or in the bedroom that will most likely get you.
This Big Brother 15 season it’s gotten David and Howard, and given us a view of their naked man junk. And then you have people like Spencer who was walking downstairs from the HOH room and randomly pulled his peen out, choking it to death, for all of the live feeders to see. Some might say it would be better to have seen Spencer popping a squat on the toilet than having to see his neo-nazi bratwurst.
So why do producers keep the tape rolling even when you’re in there just dropping your deuce? For your protection. This is what I was told, because I did ask. Just in case you have a heart attack on the toilet or you slip and bust your head open in the shower, or some spiteful biatch does unspeakable things to your toothbrush…there’s footage. It protects CBS and it “protects” you.