Jun Dishes

verb/diSH/ : food or sex or gossip or fiction in real life

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Pooping in the Big Brother House

RestroomFM

I couldn’t come up with a better title for this blog, because I didn’t want to. If fans can ask me about “how” I pooped in the BB house, then you’ll just have to bear with me on the unsavory title and subject matter. It’s a fair question, and one I asked myself dozens of times a day before entering the Big Brother 4 house. Then the tally went up to a dozen times an hour once I set foot in the house and actually saw for myself the camera in the toilet.

Lest you doubt how seriously I take my bathroom lifestyle, I’ve already outlined how my morning poops have been affected since becoming a mother. So what’s a person to do when they’re entering a house where there are cameras in the toilet and shower and bathtub? You need to FORGET about the cameras. Easier said than done. But we’ve yet to see someone self-evict for poop’s sake.

I really had no choice, because I got so backed up the first few days. You either get bloated then make yourself sick with toxic waste festering in your body, or you take the dump you need to take. Some HGs my season asked for mild laxatives to help them go, because they were so camera-terrified about the toilet. If you’ve noticed, Big Brother footage in the toilet only happens when something’s actually going down in there (and by down I don’t mean feces), be it plotting or having sex or cleaning the toilet with someone’s toothbrush. Remember Shannon?

Toilet

 

(The toilet was WAY bigger back then in the BB house by the way…)

You’ll never see HGs in the bathroom together, with one sitting there pooping on the toilet and the other just standing there talking strategy. If you’re doing something you shouldn’t be doing, or if you’re in there talking to another HG, then the producers will cut and show some of that film. Period. But if you’re just doing your doo-doo business in the toilet, no camera man is sitting there watching you brace for every pinch. At least that’s what you have to brainwash yourself to believe when you’re in that house.

What you do in the toilet is the least of your concerns in the BB house. Ironically, the toilet’s probably the safest and most private place in that crazed house where an accidental nip-slip or peen pic will land you a screencap forever archived somewhere. The toilet’s your friend, actually, and it’s a moment by the pool or in the bedroom that will most likely get you.

This Big Brother 15 season it’s gotten David and Howard, and given us a view of their naked man junk. And then you have people like Spencer who was walking downstairs from the HOH room and randomly pulled his peen out, choking it to death, for all of the live feeders to see. Some might say it would be better to have seen Spencer popping a squat on the toilet than having to see his neo-nazi bratwurst.

So why do producers keep the tape rolling even when you’re in there just dropping your deuce? For your protection. This is what I was told, because I did ask. Just in case you have a heart attack on the toilet or you slip and bust your head open in the shower, or some spiteful biatch does unspeakable things to your toothbrush…there’s footage. It protects CBS and it “protects” you.

Always dishing,

Jun

Always dishing,

Jun

Big Brother Second Chances

BBSecondChances

Thank you to Imprincinia the Beautiful African Goddess for leaving this comment on the Big Brother Canada Finale blog, and inspiring this blog today. I’m impressed by everything about the Imprincinia the Beautiful African Goddess moniker, by the way.

Imprincinia the Beautiful African Goddess

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Big Brother Second Chances: If the following people didn’t have real lives to live, and could give up everything for another summer in the Big Brother house, they’d fight it out given the second chance…

SecondChancesBB

1. Hardy (Big Brother 2) – He’s moved on from his BB experience, but he’s the only one I’d throw a second chance to if I had to choose one from season two.

2. Jason (Big Brother 3) – I personally want to see if he’d be able to pull off the nice guy card again, and how he’d do without goddess Danielle.

3. Justin (Big Brother 4) – He’s a gentleman and a fierce competitor, and anyone who endured a relationship with Alison deserves a second chance at something.

4. David (Big Brother 4) – Without the X-Factor twist he’d have fared better my season.  Plus, he (and Amanda) popped the Big Brother cherry as the first HGs to have sex in the BB house so he should definitely have an encore.

5. Nakomis (Big Brother 5) – She got screwed over in so many ways, most of all having to find out about a long-lost brother named “Cowboy” on a reality show, but made the best of it.

6. Rachel (Big Brother 6) – Minus Howie and all the insanity and drama of that season, she came out of it with her reputation intact and can probably still kick ass in challenges.

7. Parker  (Big Brother 9) – He’s actually a very smart guy and his skills were wasted in that cesspool of a season.

8. Chelsia (Big Brother 9) – She’s all grown up and not the volatile 21-year-old she once was, but she’s still fiercely competitive and I’d enjoy watching her second chance bout in the BB house.

9. Keesha (Big Brother 10) – After winning America’s Favorite Houseguest, she’s been all over the place and back in her personal life and she could probably use a summer off play BB again.

10. Annie (Big Brother 12) – She was too soft her first time around, and I think give a second chance she could go far. Besides, she’s friends with so many BB alum now, she must be dirty enough to play the game better!

11. Ragan  (Big Brother 12) – He’s certainly entertaining, and sure to stir up drama with or without wearing a Saboteur hat.

12. Kalia  (Big Brother 13) – I’m really more interested in what her excuses will be for everything if given a second chance.

13. Shelly  (Big Brother 13) – I’d love to see her without the heavy cat lady army threat that permeates the BB house whenever JeJo is in the game.

14. Jodi (Big Brother 14) – I don’t think I need to explain this one. The poor thing needs a second chance at BB.

Second chances don’t come often in life…but they do come every once in a while in Big Brother don’t they?

Always dishing,

Jun